So I haven't been around much lately...
Which is not a bad way to live, really.
First, zaiah. She spent almost a week with me last week. We've been talking on the Intertubes for over a year and a half, but never have been able to meet in person (damn you, Intertubes! Damn you!) until at last our wish was granted by a pair of cute and very fuzzy kittens. The kittens said "Lo! For more than forty months have you been chatting, and the time has come at last! We shall be your vehicles!"
Or perhaps they might have said that, if kittens could, you know, talk.
Anyway, the kittens arranged for us to meet, and meet we did. It went more better than anything I might dared to have hoped, and a most excellent time was had. I shan't disturb you with the details, because they would...disturb you.
And then: Camping!
Shelly, Fritz, femetal, my archnemisis datan0de, and I went roughing it in the backwoods of rural Florida, in the most primitive environment you can possibly imagine. No Internet! No cell pone service! Nothing to do but sit in the pop-up on our laptops and watch Dr. Who!
Got a good deal of work on Onyx 3.1 done. What else is there to do at a campsite?
And now, joreth is up visiting.
It has been over two frakking weeks since I've even logged on to World of Warcraft. It's been difficult, but the shaking is starting to subside and I haven't had a seizure in days.
I've been approached by various people over the past couple of weeks and asked if I'd be interested in becoming involved in not one, not two, but three new start-up businesses. Weird.
Got my last rejection letter for my book proposal last week. That makes six. (Well, technically five, plus one "We're not interested in the book in its current form, but we think you're pretty cool and would like you to re-submit the proposal as less of a how-to on polyamory and more of a personal narrative.")
And also, since I've had a bad case of the hornies all day and have had a great deal of trouble thinking about anything but sex all day long today, here is...
...a sex meme floating around LiveJournal.
Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Consider? Consider? There are people on my flist who are lovers of mine, there are people on my flist who feature regularly in my sexual fantasies (these two are part of two intersecting sets in a Venn diagram), there are people on my flist who occasionally appear in erotic dreams (yet a third set in the Venn diagram, largely but not completely intersecting with the first two), there are people on my flist who I've watched have sex... And also, a nonzero number of people on my flist have sodomized me with strap-ons. So, um. Yeah.
Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Yes, please. I'm not up for much other than snoring and firing squads in the morning, but that hasn't always stopped some of my partners in the past.
What side of the bed do you sleep on?
I don't zone the bed. Never have, actually. I'll sleep on whatever side my lover doesn't want.
Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
No. But I have pulled over to the side of the road to let passengers puke. In fact, I did this once after watching the movie Maximum Overdirve in the theaters, in fact. We'd snuck a fifth of Jack Daniels into the theater with us, see. My friends got blitzed while we watched, and we thought it was the funniest damn movie we'd ever seen. Wasn't until about midway through that the horrible truth hit us: this movie was supposed to be serious. Dear God.
Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Wait, what? People will give you money to take your clothes off??! I need to find these people, pronto! How much does it pay?
Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
I think the question is poorly worded, if by "passive" they mean "submissive." I like aggressive lovers, I like submissive lovers, I like lovers who switch, but one thing that I can't abide is lovers who are passive.
Do you love someone in your friends list?
Oh, yes. Oh, my goodness, yes. There are people on my flist who enrich my life every day just by being a part of it, and who I am grateful and fortunate to be privileged enough to know.
Do you know all the people in your friends list?
The number of people on my flist exceeds the size of my monkeysphere.
Love or money?
Love. I seem weakly motivated by money, which is probably why I don't ever seem to have a lot of it. That, or I keep working for tiny startups that can't pay me. One or the other.
Credit cards or cash?
Debit cards. And the blood of the unbaptized. Okay, I'm kidding about the last part. Mostly.
Have you ever had anyone in your family you wish wasn't?
Most of my family. I haven't spoken to most of them in decades, and don't even speak to the parts of my biological family I do like very often. I have a born-again Fundamentalist uncle who told me in 1984 that I was going to burn in Hell for listening to rock music; I haven't spoken to him since. I have a cousin I met in about 1982 who, at the tender age of 14, came staggering out of her bedroom, was introduced to me, slammed a can of Budweiser and a handful of aspirin, told me (and I quote) "go suck eggs," and went back to bed.
Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
Depends, I suppose. Who else is there, and what's the occasion? Embrace the power of "and!"
Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Hmm. I've had sex with my partner handcuffed to a rewind table in a movie theater projection booth. I've had sex in the middle of a park. I've had sex on a small, flat-bottomed boat stranded on a sandbar about two hundred feet from a retirement community.
Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
Again with the "people will actually pay me to do that? Who are these people, and why don't I know them?"
Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yeah. You know what? They aren't all that.
Ever been to a bar?
I've been the only man in a lesbian bar, I've had a woman try to pick me up at a gay bar (long story), and I used to shoot pool and play darts regularly at a little seedy hole-in-the-wall bar close to my house. Haven't done either in a while. At one point, I was passionate enough about darts that I kept a very expensive set in my car; haven't played in at least six or seven years now.
Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
No, though I have been tossed off the dance floor at a goth club for moshing.
Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
No, though I have done the carrying.
Kissed someone of the same sex?
Ever had sex in the bathroom?
Yes. Hasn't everyone?
Have you ever had sex at work?
See reference to "partner handcuffed to a rewind table" above.
Have you ever bought anything from an adult store?
Not only have I bought many things at adult stores, I've sold products at adult stores. (Specifically, Onyx. A little adult toy store in Bradenton, Florida carried it on CD-ROM for a while.)
Ever been caught having sex?
Does anyone have naughty pictures of YOU?
Oh, yes. "Naughty" is probably too mild a word, in fact. "Lewd" is more accurate. "Obscene," even. And I've even done requests; dayo and I have a game we play, see, and...
Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
I'm working on a very long post on death, human dignity, and transhumanism, which will have more real content than this post.