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Never have I ever...

The range of the human sexual condition is a whole lot wider than a lot of people realize. I've met folks who say things like 'I don't want to get too kinky too fast because I don't want to have done everything there is to do by the time I'm 30" and "I am open to anything," which I think grossly underestimate the amount of things there are to do.

Whenever someone asks on (most) public forums for wild and kinky sex ideas1, inevitably it seems like the answers that person gets fall into three broad categories: Partners, Places, and Positions. Have sex with more partners, have sex in unusual places, have sex in unusual positions.

Which is fun and all, but it still misses entire huge categories of sex.

Recently, though, someone on another journal flipped the question on its head by asking "what haven't you done." And again that's a way to show how narrow the common perception of sex is, because the majority of responses were perhaps two or three lines long--"I haven't had a threesome, I haven't had sex outdoors, I haven't had sex with the woman on top." That sort of thing.

I thought about it for a few minutes. The following list is what I came up with in ten minutes; I bet that another ten minutes would probably make it about twice as long.

I have never:


  • Wanted to have sex with an animal or a child.

  • Had sexual contact, or wanted to have sexual contact, with another man.

  • Engaged in AB (adult baby) or diaper fetish play.

  • Engaged in age play.

  • Engaged in puppy play, pony play, or other forms of animal role-play.

  • Had an orgasm at a sex club or play party (though I have had sex at play parties and sex clubs).

  • Had sex with more than three women simultaneously.

  • Had sex in an airplane.

  • Had sex on a train.

  • Been suspended (though I have had partners who have been suspended, and I have designed and built suspension frames).

  • Engaged in autoerotic asphyxia.

  • Engaged in bastinado.

  • Engaged in bootblacking.

  • Been inside a grope box.

  • Played "Spin the Bottle" (though I have played other sex games).

  • Engaged in cuckoldry.

  • Engaged in water bondage.

  • Had sex in a gas mask.

  • Used, or been whipped with, a singletail.

  • Engaged in sounding.

  • Been restrained with a straitjacket, sleepsack, vacuum bed, armbinder, branks, pillory bed, stock, fetters, or fiddle.

  • Engaged in Gorean D/s.

  • Engaged in retifism.

  • Engaged in foot fetishism.

  • Engaged in fursuiting or yiffing.

  • Engaged in race play.

  • Been to a key party (though I have been to other forms of swingers' parties).

  • Had sex with a person I met at a swingers' party.

  • Had sex with a person I met in a bar, night club, or pub.

  • Had sex on, or been confined to, an inversion table.

  • Crossdressed.

  • Worn a gimp mask or gimp suit.

  • Engaged in branding, cicatrization, or suturing.

  • Owned an odalisque.

  • Owned a steam-powered fucking machine (which has always been one of my dreams), though I do own other types of fucking machines.

  • Engaged in inflation.

  • Engaged on "looning" (balloon fetishism).

  • Been in a professionally produced or professionally distributed porn flick (though I have made private pictures and movies).

  • Had sex with a porn star (though I have met several).

  • Engaged in watersports.

  • Been fisted (though I have fisted many of my partners).

  • Engaged in forced feminization.

  • Been a dungeon monitor at a public dungeon (though I have a partner who is, and I have hosted play parties).

  • Been the subject of orientation play (though I have been the instigator).

  • Cheated, or been cheated upon.

  • Paid money for sex of any sort, including phone sex.

  • Had anonymous sex.

  • Used a glory hole.

  • Seen a pornographic movie at a porn theater.

  • Engaged in cottaging.

  • Had sex in a church.

  • Worn a chastity belt or chastity device (though I have engaged in orgasm denial and chastity play).

  • Been a collared submissive.

  • Visited a prodomme.

  • Made my own flogger (though I own several hand-made floggers).

  • Written a sex book.

  • Been on the receiving end of figging (though I have been on the administering end, and written a tutorial about it).

  • Engaged in nullification (though I once had a person offer me a lot of money for it).

  • Received money for sex.

  • Had sex or sexual contact, or wanted to have sex or sexual contact, with a partner who is transsexual.

  • Used a penis pump.

  • Used poppers or other recreational drugs for or during sex.

  • Been bound in, or bound a partner in, strappado bondage.

  • Been on the administering end of fire play (though I have been on the receiving end).

  • Used a rack or a Catherine's wheel.

  • Engaged in Nazi roleplay.

  • Engaged in religious roleplay.

  • Had sex with a virgin.

  • Forced a non-consenting partner to have nonconsensual sex, or been forced to have nonconsensual sex (though I engage in resistance play and rape play often).

  • Had sex for the purpose of, or with the intention of, procreation.

  • Had a grudge fuck.

  • Had a sympathy fuck.

  • Had sex with a subordinate at work (though I have had sex with a superior at work).

  • Been seriously injured or hospitalized because of a sex act.

  • Been arrested or detained by authorities because of a sex act.


What haven't you done?

1 Okay, yes, forums other than the ones many of the folks who read this journal are likely to be on. Hush.

Tags:



Comments

( 59 comments — Leave a comment )
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(Deleted comment)
hollyqueen
May. 16th, 2009 06:09 pm (UTC)
I am decidedly not vanilla and I had to look up a few. I'm oddly proud that I have done some stuff that he hasn't. No clue why I would be.
(no subject) - tacit - May. 16th, 2009 06:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hollyqueen - May. 16th, 2009 10:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mcval - May. 16th, 2009 08:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hollyqueen - May. 16th, 2009 10:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
sarahmichigan
May. 16th, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC)
Hmm, interesting the things I've done that you haven't, since I tend to think of you as one of the kinkiest people I regularly talk to/read. Of course, being straight will limit some things, too.

I have had sex while under the influence of recreational drugs and have had sex in a church, though it was a Unitarian Universalist, so it just barely counts. ;)

I haven't:
-Had a M-F-M threeway (though I've been in FMF and other group situations)
-Had sex in a moving vehicle of any kind (train, airplane, car, etc.)
-Tied anyone up (though I've been tied up)
-Engaged in any kind of foot or boot play
-Engaged in golden showers or scat play
-Ever watched or participated in any kind of bestiality (though I've read a couple stories- NOT my thing)
-Been given money for sex or given money for sex
-Given oral sex when my partner was wearing a condom
-Had a dental dam used on me
-Given or received anal fisting (though I've given and received vaginal fisting)
-Been whipped, paddled or pierced
pstscrpt
May. 18th, 2009 01:21 pm (UTC)
Had a M-F-M threeway
This actually surprises me. I've done MFM in several combinations, and one MMF, but never FMF (not sure I'd actually want to be at the center) or FFM.
(no subject) - tacit - May. 19th, 2009 03:08 am (UTC) - Expand
kahoki
May. 16th, 2009 06:52 pm (UTC)
Yes, it is interesting to see that sexuality and kink cover such a wide range of interests that you would be hard pressed to experience them all, kind of like telling someone you are an American and presuming you have been to all 50 states and have interesting stories about all of them.
tacit
May. 19th, 2009 03:09 am (UTC)
Good analogy. Given how much there is to do in sex, though, I think it might be closer to telling someone you're an American and having them presume you'd visited every city and town in the United States.
catwoman980
May. 16th, 2009 07:00 pm (UTC)
You may be interested to know that with this latest update to the DSM they want to expand the definition of Paraphilia:

"The term paraphilia denotes any intense and persistent sexual interest other than sexual interest in genital stimulation or preparatory fondling with phenotypically normal, consenting adult human partners."

And by "consenting adult human partners" they mean to say that anyone with any kind of deformity or disability is not an adult human partner. If you are interested in having sex with your partner who happens to be a paraplegic, you are engaging in a paraphilic behavior. If you have a relationship with them for more than six months, you have a paraphilic disorder. Hell, he actually included the example that if you generally enjoy obscene phone calls it's paraphilia.

It is, of course, specifically harsh on gender expression.
malaika02
May. 17th, 2009 04:27 pm (UTC)
I'm not entirely sure that's what they mean by such a definition... They mean if you are interested in having sex with your partner primarily because s/he is a paraplegic, that would be paraphilic behavior. Right?
(no subject) - catwoman980 - May. 17th, 2009 05:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - May. 19th, 2009 02:59 am (UTC) - Expand
mantic_angel
May. 16th, 2009 07:20 pm (UTC)
*blinks* It actually sort of shocks me how many of those I've done :)

It didn't even occur to me to think of things like "positions/locations" when faced with the original question, heh. It really seems like a question that crashes on most people because they don't think in terms of 'kink.'
madamruppy
May. 16th, 2009 07:45 pm (UTC)
There is only one thing on your list that i have done. This is with the understanding that I change the wording on #2 to read "Other woman".

I'm good with this "never have I ever" list. It can stay :D
soocase
May. 16th, 2009 08:04 pm (UTC)
wow.. I expected so much more of you. There are a couple of things on that list that a couple of 12 year old's are probably doing in a school bathroom as we speak... All this time I thought you were King Pervert.. my illusions are completely shattered. How will I go on?
tacit
May. 19th, 2009 03:09 am (UTC)
*blink*

I think you know different 12-year-olds than I do. :)
musicman
May. 16th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)
Just think -- when you've lived as long as I have, you may have knocked several of those off your list and still have room for growth!
lance_lake
May. 16th, 2009 08:55 pm (UTC)
Whenever someone asks on (most) public forums for wild and kinky sex ideas1, inevitably it seems like the answers that person gets fall into three broad categories: Partners, Places, and Positions. Have sex with more partners, have sex in unusual places, have sex in unusual positions.

Which is fun and all, but it still misses entire huge categories of sex.


So what is a category that misses Partners, Places and Positions. It seems to me all sexual activity can fit into one of those.
gushi
May. 16th, 2009 10:10 pm (UTC)
Breathplay doesn't fit into any of those, really -- for example.

Given, some of the examples tacit listed above are partners, or places, or positions.
(no subject) - winterlady - May. 16th, 2009 11:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gushi - May. 17th, 2009 05:10 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lance_lake - May. 17th, 2009 05:07 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - May. 17th, 2009 05:05 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lance_lake - May. 17th, 2009 05:06 am (UTC) - Expand
polylizzy
May. 16th, 2009 09:06 pm (UTC)
even though the list of things I HAVE tried is MUCH MUCH smaller....I will admit to a few of the things on Tacits list that I have done.

~Had an orgasm at a sex club or play party (more than 1).
~Cheated, or been cheated upon (the latter)
~Been a collared submissive (for a short while).
~Made my own flogger (several in fact).
~Forced a non-consenting partner to have nonconsensual sex, or been forced to have nonconsensual sex (the latter, same person who cheated on me)
~Had sex for the purpose of, or with the intention of, procreation (twice lol)
~Had a sympathy fuck.

I cant list my "Have nots" the list is too long lol.

gesundyke
May. 16th, 2009 09:28 pm (UTC)
i've done 12 of your list.

i need a shower now v.v
fla_sunshine
May. 16th, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC)
I was surprised that there were a couple of things that I had done that you hadn't. They were:
- sex with the intent of procreation (that ultimately failed)
- sex on an airplane
A partner and I have had a couple of opportunities for sex on a train and so far have wimped out, but we get more opportunities next year as we have roomettes reserved for a couple of trips between Florida and Boston.
tacit
May. 19th, 2009 03:00 am (UTC)
Sex on an airplane strikes me as profoundly uncomfortable.
(Deleted comment)
sageautumn
May. 16th, 2009 10:31 pm (UTC)
"I am open to anything," which I think grossly underestimate the amount of things there are to do.

Ain't that the truth! And boy do you have to be aware of your audience when you answer someone that says something like that.

Had a sympathy fuck.
Are you sure? (*kidding*)
m0rgen
May. 17th, 2009 05:07 pm (UTC)
"Open to anything" is right up there with "Whatever you want". I'm careful to only say that to those who I have a pretty good idea what they want.
winterlady
May. 17th, 2009 12:01 am (UTC)
Yeahhhh okay - I'm not massively kinky - but there's a large number of things on that list that Iist that I've never heard of. O_o

I'm going to have to spend some time with the dictionary, apparently.

But before I do that... what the frell is: retifism
slinka
May. 17th, 2009 01:07 am (UTC)
It's shoooooooes. *drool*
(no subject) - winterlady - May. 17th, 2009 01:13 am (UTC) - Expand
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