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Yesterday, NASA's LCROSS mission impacted the moon at high speed.

The purpose of the mission was to create a large plume of dust from impacting the bottom of a deep cater near the moon's south pole so that the plume could be analyzed for signs of water ice. In that particular respect, it went swimmingly, no pun intended.

However, the mission also revealed something totally unexpected--a treasure trove of barking moonbats here on planet earth. The moonbats have set up a Web site in which they claim the LCROSS mission is a part of a conspiracy by a "powerful syndicate of military-industrial criminals" that was "inspired by fanatical terrorist airline hijackers" to bomb the moon. From the Web site:

Of course, there is much more behind this attack than casual scientific curiosity on whether or not there is water on the Moon. First of all, since the long-range accuracy of intercontinental ballistic missiles has never been proven to work, the LCROSS suicide mission serves as a live-fire test exercise for US war strategists with an interest in the precision of orbiting satellite weapons—in other words, the southern hemisphere of the Moon will be turned into a firing range, making this mission one giant leap for the global reach of space warfare. Secondly, LCROSS has been promoted as "the vanguard" for the US military-industrial-entertainment complex’s return to the Moon—according to NASA, finding water is a necessary first step for "building a long-term and sustainable human presence" there. Historically, the purpose of exploration has always been the exploitation of resources and the colonization of territory without regard for ecosystems or indigenous peoples, and clearly the Moon is the next territory coveted by imperialists.

This so-called "NASA experiment" is a hostile act of aggression and a violent intrusion upon our closest and dearest celestial neighbor. Does any love song or poem or fairy tale worth its salt not mention the Moon? Who can take a walk in the Moonlight with a lover and not feel the romance to your very soul? At night, when the Moon rules, we sleep, and we can visit the Moon in our sleep with ease. The Moon is our night light, our blanket, our grandmother, our mother—it is woman, child, domestic life, tides, bodies of water, liquids, circulation, comfort, nurturing, paintings by Remedios Varo, stories by Jules Verne, and so much more.


It's not entirely clear to me that the authors of this Web site understand what the word "ecosystem" means or why the moon doesn't have one, but I'm particularly curious about who, exactly, the indigenous peoples in question are.

On the bright side, at least they're not trying to deny that we ever landed on the moon at all...


Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
chaos5023
Oct. 9th, 2009 07:27 pm (UTC)
Now, Franklin, let's not speak imprecisely. The moon does not have an ecosystem that you know of.
kawakiisakazuki
Oct. 9th, 2009 07:36 pm (UTC)
The evil patriarchal scientists will use a phallic rocket to violently penetrate the body of the Moon Goddess, and they'll even record the violation so they can jerk off to the moon-rape porn later. Or something like that. =P

(I'm sure someone is writing fic about it already)
jbrenner
Oct. 9th, 2009 08:04 pm (UTC)
Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha...

You almost made me spit soda out of my nose.
(Deleted comment)
brockulfsen
Oct. 10th, 2009 01:04 am (UTC)
Just wait until the real flat eathers weigh in.

nornagest
Oct. 11th, 2009 09:23 am (UTC)
The phrase "barking moonbats" has left a bad taste in my mouth ever since shortly before I stopped following Eric S. Raymond's blog, but I can't argue against its use here.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )