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Everyone who's ever had a liberal arts background, and most folks who've ever spoken to someone with a liberal arts background, and some folks who've never done either but who've talked about the philosophy of polyamory for any length of time, are probably aware that the Greeks, who loved creating classification systems for things almost as much as they loved war, developed a classification system for love.

In the Greek system, there are four distinct types of love. They believed in Agape, unconditional all-encompassing love like the love of the gods for humans (presumably just before the gods kill lots of people in an earthquake or a flood or something); Eros, or passionate love, usually (but not always) sexual; Philia, or friendship love, of the sort between comrades (and later used by psychologists for sexual kinks that most folks don't have and usually that the psychologist in question doesn't quite understand); and Storge, or familial love.

It occurred to me while I was preparing to shower this morning, as such things often do, that the Greeks missed a couple of types of love in their categorization.

Now, I am aware that the Greeks were legendary for their considerable talents in sorting and labeling things, an art they developed to such an advanced degree that their philosophers even devised classification systems for people (bronze, for slaves; silver, for tradesmen and politicians; and gold, for philosophers)...so it is with the greatest trepidation that your humble scribe dares to suggest that the Greek taxonomy of love might in the slightest way be lacking.

However, as much respect as I hold for their considerable skills at pigeonholing (and believe me, I hold it in exactly as much respect as it so richly deserves), I feel I must point out that their system is incomplete.

So I would like to propose two additional categories of love:

Orwellos, for compulsory love that is mandated by authority, such as the love of Big Brother, the love of Kim Jong Il, and the love of various hypothetical divine entities who love you in return but will cast you into a lake of fire if you fail to love them enough, or love them in the wrong way.

Stockholmia, or the love of one's abuser, such as the love of Patty Hearst for the Symbionese Liberation Army and the love of Linux users for Linux.

There may yet be a seventh category of love, for love of people for political institutions which act against their interests, though it is not entirely clear to your humble scribe whether that's an entirely separate category of love or simply a combination of the last two.

Edit: After further consideration and consultation with zaiah, I have come to the conclusion that the love of people for politicians and political parties who act against their interests is indeed its own unique form of love, rather than being a combination of Orwellos and Stockholmia.

I would therefore like to propose a seventh type of love. Following slutbamwalla's brilliant suggestion, may I propose:

Santoros, the love that people have for politicians or political organizations who appeal to their sense of identity while simultaneously acting against those people's own interests.

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Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
6_bleen_7
Mar. 17th, 2012 07:32 pm (UTC)
From Love Is Hell:
In Western tradition, there have been approximately four kinds of love. These include:

"Philia": Friendship, brotherly love
"Eros": The drive to create or procreate
"Agape": The love which is devoted to the other
"Lust": The current favorite
matt_doyle
Mar. 17th, 2012 07:41 pm (UTC)
Bravo, sir. I cracked up immediately and had to read this aloud to my wife.

Mind if I post a link to this on my own journal?
tacit
Mar. 17th, 2012 08:13 pm (UTC)
By all means, feel free!
matt_doyle
Mar. 17th, 2012 10:02 pm (UTC)
Also, a (Linux-using) friend suggests a third example of Stockholmia: the love of Star Wars fans for Star Wars.
slutbamwalla
Mar. 17th, 2012 07:53 pm (UTC)
Might I suggest Santoros for the seventh category that you mention?
khall
Mar. 17th, 2012 08:55 pm (UTC)
*laughs*

K.
tacit
Mar. 18th, 2012 06:13 pm (UTC)
BWAH! That is an *awesome* idea. I think I will adopt it.
tacit
Mar. 18th, 2012 06:20 pm (UTC)
...and I've just edited the post to add Santoros. :)
the_failed_poet
Mar. 17th, 2012 09:01 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha, brilliant! <3

You make me happy every time you post anything anywhere.
skittenwench
Mar. 17th, 2012 09:58 pm (UTC)
But what about the many catagories of affection and love in polyamorus relationships, like friends with benefits, and etc. And a person you love but would never consider moving in with else you might murder them in their sleep and ermmm.... im pretty sure there's more..
red_girl_42
Mar. 17th, 2012 11:05 pm (UTC)
I think there could be combinations of the 4 Greek forms of love. For instance, I feel "eros" toward my husband but also "philia," because we have a friendship as well as romance. And, now that we've been married for-freakin-ever (and procreated together) I think "storge" also applies, too.

So maybe "friends with benefits" could be a lot of "philia" with a smattering of "eros" (or vice versa)? Just a thought...
edwardmartiniii
Mar. 25th, 2012 10:52 pm (UTC)
I suspect that would be mostly just bookkeeping.

I mean, you either feel eros for a person or you don't -- regardless of where they live, or where they actually live, or where they should live.

Likewise, whether or not they live with you or should live with you or don't live with you is kind of a non-issue if your feelings are best described as "Look, we're friends. Good friends. But our binkies ain't ever touching, m'kay?"

likethewatch
Mar. 18th, 2012 02:02 am (UTC)
Ha! Loved these, especially having just read the 10 Psychological States You've Never Heard of. Psychological states: collect them all!
james_the_evil1
Mar. 18th, 2012 03:42 am (UTC)
What did you say a gape can be a form of love?
Wow, that explains some of that porn...
hightekvagabond
Mar. 21st, 2012 03:16 pm (UTC)
What about Fanlatio.... The unexplained love devoted to a fictional character or story line such as Star Trek or Felicia Day? ;)

Edited at 2012-03-21 03:17 pm (UTC)
edwardmartiniii
Mar. 23rd, 2012 09:45 pm (UTC)
I think Felicia Day isn't technically fictional.
hightekvagabond
Mar. 24th, 2012 01:10 am (UTC)
I see that her creators have you fooled ;)
edwardmartiniii
Mar. 23rd, 2012 09:44 pm (UTC)
I am experiencing Stockholmia for Dreamhost right now.
pickledginger
Mar. 31st, 2012 01:12 pm (UTC)
Wonderful!

(Howdy, stranger; I don't even remember what string of lj links brought me here ..but it was worth the trip! *clicks away, chortling*)
livejournal
Apr. 9th, 2012 02:19 pm (UTC)
Shut Piehole Quickly Rapscallion!
User matt_doyle referenced to your post from Shut Piehole Quickly Rapscallion! saying: [...] , we have: LINKS THAT AMUSE ME Greek Philosophy Updated: New Categories of Love. [...]
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )