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Email o' the Week: Beta Male

This just landed in my inbox from the More Than Two contact page. Formatting as in the original.

To: Franklin <franklin@franklinveaux.com>
From: Mrkoolio [email address redacted]
Subject: New Message From More Than Two - Contact Us

Dude...Buck up and have a back bone. When she wants to see other people it is because you are not fulfflling a need or you are not the one. It is exactly what you feel when you are not in love. This never works unless everyone is banging around at the same time. This is, "I want to screw other people, but if they dump me ...it will be great to run back to you and you can help pay the bills too. If she meets a guy that does it for her, she will all of a sudden become monogamous. I can tell you are a beta by looking at you. Hand out with the alpha males a copy them. And the next time a chick says "I am poly." You say," good for you ....I am gone". Or you can do the laundry while she is out banging around. Don't be a pussy. Deep down...girls want a tough confident man....listen to Tom leykis. Let me guess, u were raised by a single mom who taught you all this bs....grow a pair....it will be so much better


I am a beta. He can tell by looking at me. So now you know.

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Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
sweh
Oct. 12th, 2016 12:46 am (UTC)
Well, sure. Only beta's wear rabbit ears. 'Cos they don't have the self confidence to stand out in a crowd. Or something. I'm sure there's some logic there somewhere. Umm. Lemme get back to you on that!
chipotle
Oct. 12th, 2016 12:59 am (UTC)
Alphas wear wolf ears, of course.
sweh
Oct. 12th, 2016 01:02 am (UTC)
Doh! It's so obvious now you say it!
(Anonymous)
Oct. 12th, 2016 12:47 am (UTC)
Are you still wearing the tired droopy ears?
My mind is connecting rabbits to carrots to beta carodine... maybe that's the kind of beta you are in his Special Beta Vision(TM).

I think I dated that yahoo, for about an hour, long enough to him to mansplain what is wrong with women who have a pet snake and keep it in a box like a penis and how I need therapy.

Skip 27.9 years and same snake, now most elderly, is next to me in bed. Assorted pointless videos about her and me are over here:

https://www.youtube.com/c/LouisethePython

p.s. I bought one of the first sexmap posters... and it's still here over the bed and your blog post about a mix up with the posters and I think a worry that they would be dropped all over the Middle East still sings in my memory as one of the funniest pieces of writing I had the pleasure to forward everybody I knew.

Jan

ashbet
Oct. 12th, 2016 12:50 am (UTC)
He seems to have some issues with spelling -- perhaps he thinks you're a betta, and he's castigating you for not fighting any other fish you see in the mirror? ;)

(In all seriousness, this "alpha/beta male" stuff is so small-minded and ridiculous... and methinks this dude's head would explode if he'd actually been keeping up with your relationships and entertaining sexual antics over the years -- I'm still a bit envious of the Kinky Castle Orgy!)

-- A ;)
mycrazyhair
Oct. 12th, 2016 02:47 am (UTC)
Beta, huh? Good to know. I'm now at the point where I run in the opposite direction from guys if there's any hint they might be described as "alpha".

Too bad you aren't a gamma - I think you might have enjoyed Jon Scalzi's Gamma Rabbit T-shirts, if only they were still available!
edm
Oct. 12th, 2016 04:38 am (UTC)
Beta Male
Obviously the Alpha Males are the ones with all the women, and the Beta Males have none, so clearly.... Wait, what? Poly, you say? Multiple partners? Really?! I'll get back to you...

Ewen
polydad
Oct. 12th, 2016 05:49 am (UTC)
What, no Diet Coke warning?
Yeah, right, you're a beta.

Well, if all someone has is a two-state model, they have a profound personal need to cram everything into one box or the other. Things that fill both boxes and have bits left over don't fit in the model.

Perhaps you could offer to build him a better model. Maybe one with an AI robotic dildo attached?

best,

Joel
anais_pf
Oct. 12th, 2016 07:09 am (UTC)
Hahahahaha!
ckd
Oct. 12th, 2016 07:17 am (UTC)
Alpha males haven't even made it to the field testers.

Beta males have, but crash often.

I'd rather be a long term support male with all updates installed, for maximum stability especially in a multiuser environment.
kindredsgirl
Oct. 12th, 2016 05:09 pm (UTC)
YES!!! in a multiuser environment! You got me with that one.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )