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And in today's news...

...an 18-year-old Kentucky student is sitting in prison on "terrorist' charges for writing a short story for English class in which zombies overrun a school. The police detective in the case, one Steven Caudill, apparently doesn't realize that the legions of the Undead aren't in fact actually real, and said "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky."

Were I of a more cynical mindset, I might suggest that nobody can actually be as sunningly stupid as Detective Caudill is claiming to be, and that it's more likely that Mr. Caudill is in fact cynically manipulating a fundamentally b0rked legal system to puff up his own personal fame. But I'm not really that cynical, of course; it's possible that Detective Caudill really is that stupid. After all, it wouldn't be the first time a police department deliberately sets out to weed intelligent people out of the force...


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 8th, 2005 11:32 pm (UTC)
Boy, I'd love to be a fly on the wall during the arraignment, though...

"Mr. Poole, you are accused of seeking to raise a zombie army of the Living Dead to carry out a terrorist act against a school. How do you plead?"

"Your Honor, the fact that you can ask me that question with a straight face suggests to me that I will not be able to receive a fair trial in this courtroom."

I'm beginning to think the mindless undead servants of evil aren't really fictional at all; they're working for the Kentucky District Attorney...
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 9th, 2005 04:43 pm (UTC)
Y'know, that's a really, really good idea. He should definitely look for a publisher for the story. In fact, he should do it while he's still in jail awaiting arrainment--"Read the story so dangerous, it had to be published from prison!"
Mar. 10th, 2005 03:02 am (UTC)
I am sorely tempted to take this snippet of dialogue and put it to a writing prompt list just to see what will happen.
Mar. 22nd, 2005 06:54 am (UTC)
That sounds like a lot of fun, actually. It seems like a perfect opening for a Kafkaesque stort.
Mar. 8th, 2005 09:31 pm (UTC)
"Even so, police say the nature of the story makes it a felony. "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky," said Winchester Police detective Steven Caudill."

Damn. If I were up for a little civil disobedience, I think I would drive to Kentucky with a DVD of Heathers, and then turn myself in to the local police for committing a felony by possessing matter involving threats and violence at a school.
Mar. 9th, 2005 08:58 pm (UTC)
...or the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where the school gets destroyed. By their logic Joss Wheaton and Daniel Waters should also be arrested.
Mar. 8th, 2005 10:50 pm (UTC)
I love that you can mail me death threats and I can't do a damn thing - but if I write a short story I can go to jail. WTF??
Mar. 8th, 2005 11:35 pm (UTC)
Today's news? That's old stuff, man. :-)
Yeah, it's dumb. It's almost as dumb as the little kid who got in trouble under the Zero Intelligence Tolerance policies for pointing his fingers at somebody like a gun.
or food items...
Mar. 11th, 2005 02:02 am (UTC)
Heh. Who'll be laughing when the school really *IS* overrun with the living dead? Fools!
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )