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Mixed feelings on Global Orgasm Day

So, as many of you may already know, today is Global Orgasm Day--a day in which we can all show our fundamental unity by getting off.

Now, don't get me wrong here. I'm strongly in favor of orgasms. I mean really strongly in favor of orgasms. I like a good orgasm--or two, or three, or seventeen--as much as the next guy, and probably rather better than most. The idea of a "Global Orgasm Day" sounds great to me.

In fact, dare I even say it, I think that maybe a Global Orgasm Day shows a certain failure of imagination. I might humbly suggest a Global Orgasm Week, or--hell, let's be wild!--even a Global Orgasm Month.

But the idea that there is some kind of "science" behind the Global Orgasm Day, and that this Global Orgasm Day can make the world a more peaceful place? C'mon.

I mean, here it is, right from the Web site:

The Global Consciousness Project (http://noosphere.princeton.edu), runs a network of Random Event Generators (REGs) around the world, which record changes in randomness during global events. The results show that human consciousness can be measured to have a global effect on matter and energy during widely-watched events such as 9/11 and the Indian Ocean tsunami. There have also been measurable results during mass meditations and prayers.

The Zero Point Field or Quantum Field surrounds and is part of everything in the universe. It can be affected by human consciousness, as can be seen when simple observation of a subatomic particle changes the particle’s state.

We hope that a huge influx of physical, mental and spiritual energy with conscious peaceful intent will not only show up on Princeton’s REGs, but will have profound positive effects that will change the violent state of the human world.

Seems to me someone's been drinking too much Kool-Aid. I mean, seriously. This half-baked, lame-ass, uneducated, superstitious gobbledygook is what people these days call 'science'? Jesus Hypothetical Christ on a three-legged camel! Someone's started spouting quantum physics without actually, y'know, learning anything about quantum physics. If this is the sort of rubbish that the common man (or woman) on the street actually accepts as "science," then I fear for the future of us all.

Look, orgasms are good. Orgasms are fun. I daresay orgasms can even change the world; if Bill Clinton woke up every Monday knowing he was going to get a blowjob from Monica the following Wednesday, seems to me he'd be less likely to put his finger on the button that blows us all to smithereens on Tuesday.

But, c'mon. There's no need to wrap orgasms up in this ridiculous dressing of pseudoscientific babble and ridiculous nonsense in order to justify them. Orgasms don't need validation. There doesn't have to be this notion of "saving the world" to make an orgasm fun and healthy. Orgasms are fun! They are not quantum events that are going to unify to change the energy vibration of the global fucking energy field or some such bullshit; they're just fun! Go out, get off, don't wrap it all up in this pathetic junk-science rubbish!



( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 22nd, 2006 08:05 pm (UTC)
Mission Accomplished!
I'd say if GOP got you to think so hard and long about it, it is a great success.

And by the way, if the road to hell is paved with good intentions, so is the road to heaven. All great things, good or evil start with intention.

Si, Ph D

PS: You are not qualified to criticize psychobabble unless you know what you get when you play New Age Music backwards. So there!
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 22nd, 2006 08:40 pm (UTC)
New Age Music
Very Good! You are only the third person, including many music professionals, who answered this correctly. The other two were me and Chris Strachwitz, owner of Arhoolie Records, who is indirectly responsible for New Age Music's major label because he refused to publish a record by a carpenter who was building shelves for him, Will Ackerman, who went out and started Windham Hill. So you see, Jesus was not the only carpenter who came to a bad end.

Dec. 23rd, 2006 01:24 am (UTC)
I'm a literalist. When I say orgasms are "healthy," I don't mean in that vague "makes you mentally balanced" kind of way (though they certainly do that, too), but more in the "keeps you from dying" kind of way. :)
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 23rd, 2006 03:22 am (UTC)
Women have orgasms?
Dec. 23rd, 2006 09:19 pm (UTC)
Men should care why? . . . . ;-)
Dec. 23rd, 2006 10:33 pm (UTC)
exactly ;)
Dec. 27th, 2006 04:09 pm (UTC)
Other than indirect benefits (the two most common of which are better immune system function and lower depression, but the latter may be confounded because many people who are depressed report losing interest in sex, so it's not surprising to see less incidence of depression among those who are sexually active tan those who aren't), not that I've seen. Bu its still fun anyway. :)
Dec. 27th, 2006 07:26 pm (UTC)
For men regulaar orgasms (4+ a week minimum) also help prevent prostate cancer.
Dec. 22nd, 2006 11:30 pm (UTC)
Penn & Teller did an episode with a similar conclusion. It wasn't about Global Orgasm Day, but other New Age "reasons" for healthy and fun activities, like yoga and sex. It's fun, it's good for you, that's enough of a reason. Don't wrap it all up in scientific-sounding words and bullshit. It's good! Do it!
Dec. 23rd, 2006 03:23 am (UTC)
hear, hear!
Dec. 23rd, 2006 01:05 am (UTC)
If this is the sort of rubbish that the common man (or woman) on the street actually accepts as "science," then I fear for the future of us all.

Sadly, I believe it is, especially about quantum.
Dec. 23rd, 2006 03:23 am (UTC)
Yep. The average person is amoron.
A ridiculous portion of the American public still believes we FOUDN WMDs.
You expect them to know something about SCIENCE when they can't understand REALITY?
Dec. 23rd, 2006 03:24 am (UTC)
I did just notice that the event's initials are GOD.
That's a GOD whose services I could see attending!
Dec. 23rd, 2006 04:07 am (UTC)
It's Global Orgasm for PEACE Day. GOP day.

And if there is not conclusive evidence that state of mind, the biochemicals of sex, and intimacy with other beings (human or pets) is beneficial, which many think there is, the case is still an open one. And if you think I can't understand science, then give the University of Washington School of Medicine a call and tell them to take my Ph D back.

Dec. 23rd, 2006 02:26 pm (UTC)
quantum physics quantum physics! Spin spin! look at the toy look at the toy! math and big words! crazy stuff! Here's a guy who's a doctor! big words!

The world is made of cheese!
Dec. 23rd, 2006 06:37 pm (UTC)
mmmmmmmmm cheese
I love cheese
that's why I want to conquer the moon
Dec. 23rd, 2006 04:48 pm (UTC)
I look at it this way:
If it involves, sex, food or presents for me (especially the latter) I'll celebrate whatever the heck you want me to.
I'm not a religious person, but I'll take your Christmas presents (and Happy Festivus btw). I'll also take the birthday presents the following week.
And I know nothing about science - but if celebrating GOD gets me laid (and it did - nicely - several times) then hey! count me in (did I mention I got laid?) I'm sure I can make up "cookies for sex" day today and count off two of my favorite things all in one go, today too ;-)
Dec. 26th, 2006 09:09 am (UTC)
I love this blog.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )