Like my horoscope this week at The Onion:
Aries: (March 21—April 19)
Give yourself a well-deserved treat by mixing incompatible drugs and having an ill-advised sexual encounter. You owe it to yourself for the week you're about to have.
Or the bumper sticker M. and i saw last night:
Who Wants Jelly Donuts?
Or the bumper sticker I saw on my way to work Friday:
"Dog is my co-pilot."