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Some thoughts about sex toys

...in which Franklin raves about his current favorite toy, made by NJoy:

This thing, which I've recently heard compared to a prop from Star Trek, is an NJoy Pleasure Wand. It's about eight inches long, it's heavy (weighs nearly a pound!), the ball on the right-hand side is about an inch in diameter, it's made of surgical stainless steel, and it is without question one of the Coolest. Sex. Toys. Ever.

It even comes in a neat red-lined display box.

And man, this toy can do just about anything. Any kind of sensation you can imagine (and as a seasoned, veteran pervert, I can imagine quite a lot) you can get with this.

Let's start with the obvious uses. The right-hand side is for vaginal penetration, the left-hand side is for anal penetration. As a straight-ahead dildo, it's quite good. The stainless steel warms up very quickly, and it's very smooth. The end is curved, and manages to find the G-spot of everyone I've used it with very nicely. Insert, move vigorously or not so vigorously (as your own personal taste dictates), repeat 'til orgasm. It'll certainly never wear out or need to be replaced, and it does the job quite nicely.

But it's got so much more to offer. Oh, my word, does it have more.

This thing is exactly what the doctor ordered for any mad scientists out there--and I know I have more than a few of you on my friends list. It looks the part to a T; it's hard to show in a photograph just how beautiful this toy is, and it's got that slightly sinister, slightly alien look to it that's always in vogue among mad scientists and evil geniuses everywhere.

It can be used to create and manipulate sensation within your victim partner with exquisite control. If temperature play is your thing, it holds both heat and cold very well, and unlike most glass toys, you can actually put it in the freezer without worrying about thermal stress cracking it.

It's hard but very smooth; the smoothness means that when it's exactly at body temperature, if you move it slowly, it almost doesn't feel like a solid object. If it's moved very slowly and gently, it's more a rush of sensation than a feeling of penetration; one of my partners has described it like feeling a gush of warm liquid, rather than like a hard object.

That's if you move it slowly and gently, of course.

If you move it less slowly and gently, then it feels a bit more like a conventional dildo, except that if your partner is lying on her back and you're holding it so that the end curves upward, it has a quite effortless habit of moving precisely along some very, very sensitive bits inside, with all the effect you'd expect from that. You can even, if you're of a suitably wicked bent, rest the ball precisely against your partner's G-spot and then turn it slightly from side to side, rather than in and out, and move more and more slowly as she gets closer and closer to orgasm, and stop right when she's on the edge. If you hold it still, then she might even be able to come just by contracting around it.

Or not, if you tilt your hand upward slightly when she contracts, bringing the ball away from the inner wall of her vagina. If you do that, she'll just be frustrated and horny.

Not that, y'know, I'm actually recommending that, or anything. I'm just sayin'.

And it's even useful for secret police, interrogators, and space aliens everywhere. If, for example, you were to have abducted an earth human and wanted to probe your captive as part of some kind of weird alien experiment, or if your captive was resistant to most normal interrogation techniques and a bit more persuasion were called for, well, this little implement is just the thing. It can go from "Oh my God I'm going to come!" to "Sweet Jesus, I'll tell you anything!" in just a flick of the wrist, and the transformation is...dramatic.

Should this be the sort of thing that suits your tastes, you might want to tie your partner down first. Again, I'm just sayin'.

One of my own personal favorite things to do is to use it on my partner directly after I've just fisted her. Three or four nice, hard orgasms around my hand is really good at getting the blood flowing and getting all the sensitive bits especially sensitive, when even the slightest touch is almost unbearably intense...that's just the right time to get out the probe. And just...barely...move it.

If you've got your partner tied down for this, might want to have a gag handy, too. You don't want to, y'know, disturb the neighbors or anything; that's just rude.

Just to be perfectly clear on this point: There's no evidence that the people who designed this toy are actually Cylons.


( 46 comments — Leave a comment )
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Oct. 26th, 2007 04:59 pm (UTC)
I love Njoy products! I used one once during a scene and it was fucking awesome! I want one for Xmas!!!!
Oct. 26th, 2007 09:40 pm (UTC)
You used one, or had one used on you?
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 26th, 2007 09:40 pm (UTC)
I've flown with mine, and nobody said anything, though I'm disappointed I didn't get to see what it looked like on X-ray.
Oct. 26th, 2007 06:02 pm (UTC)
Yeah. I was so thinking about you last night. :)
Oct. 26th, 2007 09:09 pm (UTC)
Aww! :) Now you'll have to tell me what you were thinking.
Oct. 26th, 2007 06:14 pm (UTC)
I could've sworn you made a previous post about the NJoy. Not quite as detailed, but a post nonetheless.
Oct. 26th, 2007 09:10 pm (UTC)
I mentioned it in passing, to say "I really need to write a post about this." I love, love, love this toy.
Oct. 26th, 2007 06:33 pm (UTC)
I've had my eye on that thing for a while now. Sooo pretty! Stupid grad student income! :-p
Oct. 26th, 2007 09:10 pm (UTC)
Three words...

More. Student. Loans. :) After all, you have to be able to meet your basic needs while you're in school, right?
(no subject) - champignon - Oct. 26th, 2007 09:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - Oct. 26th, 2007 09:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - champignon - Oct. 28th, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 26th, 2007 06:49 pm (UTC)
i think this post constitutes "erotica."


Oct. 26th, 2007 09:14 pm (UTC)
Naah, just think of it as an ordinary, run-of-the-mill product review. You know, for educated consumers. Nothing to see here, move along...
Oct. 26th, 2007 07:27 pm (UTC)
that depends....
do they need batteries or not?
Oct. 26th, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
Re: cylons?
The Cylons, or the sex toys?
Re: cylons? - skitten - Oct. 26th, 2007 11:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: cylons? - tacit - Oct. 28th, 2007 06:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: cylons? - skitten - Oct. 29th, 2007 12:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 26th, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC)
Out of curiosity, have you used it in conjunction with a violet wand? If so, how well did it work out?
Oct. 26th, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
I haven't! I don't have access to a wand any more. I bet it'd be a hell of a lot of fun, though.
(no subject) - quaryn_dk - Oct. 27th, 2007 07:47 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - Oct. 28th, 2007 06:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lefthand - May. 1st, 2008 02:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - May. 1st, 2008 06:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lefthand - May. 1st, 2008 06:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - isis1069 - Nov. 8th, 2007 05:16 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - twisted_times - Jul. 12th, 2011 08:48 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - Jul. 12th, 2011 06:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - twisted_times - Jul. 13th, 2011 01:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 26th, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC)
Well, there goes my attempt at not getting turned on while at work today :p
Oct. 26th, 2007 09:12 pm (UTC)
Always glad to be of service!
Oct. 26th, 2007 11:19 pm (UTC)
Ya know that's the second fantastic review I have seen for that recently. So the thing is, I got a birthday cummin up.....I'm just sayin! :)
Oct. 27th, 2007 12:04 am (UTC)
Has anyone tried using a tuning fork with this? I'd bet it could carry some subtle vibrations very nicely.
Oct. 27th, 2007 01:07 am (UTC)
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

I would never have thought of that, but now...well, now I"m thinking of it. Thanks!
(no subject) - lunasmiles - Oct. 27th, 2007 02:39 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quaryn_dk - Oct. 27th, 2007 07:48 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - Oct. 27th, 2007 04:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lefthand - Nov. 1st, 2007 03:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 27th, 2007 01:09 am (UTC)
So do these people pay you to write this stuff? Because they ought to...I'm sold.

Oct. 27th, 2007 01:58 am (UTC)
Wow, now my panties are wet...
Oct. 27th, 2007 03:33 am (UTC)
jaysus mine too!
Oct. 27th, 2007 07:49 am (UTC)
I so want one. Ohmyfuckinlord, I want one...
Oct. 27th, 2007 03:38 pm (UTC)
This is the best sex toy review I have ever read.
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( 46 comments — Leave a comment )