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You know it's bad when...

...you're too sick even to be horny.

For the past week and two days, I have had The Head Cold From Hell. Seriously. Not only has my nose been turned by the action of microbes so primitive they can scarcely be called "alive" into a gigantic factory for the production of mucous and human misery, but to add a cherry on the top of the misery and mucous sundae, my throat feels like it's been sandpapered. With 40-grit sandpaper. Attached to a drill.

Or perhaps like I've been swallowing hedgehogs whole. That're hopped up on amphetamines.

I seem to have inherited this particular lovely little virus from dayo when I was in Chicago. It's got a week-long incubation period, so I had plenty of time to come home and spread it around the office before I got sick.

On the good side, though, I've been coughing so bad I can't sleep, so I've been using the time to try to read. I somehow got the idea that I might be able to read myself to sleep at night, but the book I've been reading is William Gibson's All Tomorrow's Parties, so I don't know what I was thinking. Reading Gibson to go to sleep is about like trying to put yourself to sleep by downing a shot of moonshine, followed by a chaser of crystal meth and PCP.

All I can say is thank god for Advil and Benadryl. They're the only things making it possible for me to be upright and reasonably mobile. Don't know what I'd do without it, really. I was chatting with Gina at oh-fuck-thirty in the morning a couple nights ago and said "What did people in pre-industrial societies do when they got sick?" and she said "they died." Which is pretty damn close to the truth, actually.

And that reminds me that I have a whole 'nother LJ post to make about that, which I somehow haven't got 'round to yet.


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 6th, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
robitussin with guaifenesin is the shiznit for clearing up mucus and lung butter.
May. 6th, 2008 08:18 pm (UTC)
and I add a vote for Lo Han Kuo tea, available at any Chinese grocery. Clears congestion fast and tastes good.

May. 6th, 2008 08:22 pm (UTC)
Oh, man, I'm so in touch. I've been diseased since Saturday, but it seems to be on it's way out.

Hope you feel better soon!
May. 6th, 2008 09:08 pm (UTC)
Get well soon, Tacit.
May. 6th, 2008 09:09 pm (UTC)
Oh goodness, you poor man. I find Mucinex works well to get all the gunk out of your lungs. And popsicles feel really good on sore throats. (Why yes, I have deep-throated popsicles before. Shush.)
If you're still sick (or not back to your usual horny self) by the time I get back to Atlanta in a week, let me know if you want some chicken soup. I'd be more than happy to make some for you.
May. 6th, 2008 10:20 pm (UTC)
Just imagine how messy that first orgasm is going to be when you get better: You'll need to repaint the walls! :)
May. 6th, 2008 10:23 pm (UTC)
Theraflu!!! Helps both the congestion and the sore throat.

Sorry to hear you're under the weather.
May. 6th, 2008 10:29 pm (UTC)
Feel better soon.
May. 6th, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
*runs to chemist to buy over-the-counter codeine and pseudoephedrine.

Clean your keyboard when you're better. Germs live in it.

Pats for you and I hope you feel better soon.
May. 7th, 2008 09:21 pm (UTC)
What? Where can you get codeine OTC? In the US, they hide the pseudoephedrine behind the counter for fear of meth tweakers (who feed the meth to hedgehogs and force people to swallow them, hence the fear).
May. 8th, 2008 12:16 am (UTC)
Yes, in Australia. Panadeine is paracetamol and codeine. Codral is the same but with added extra pseudoephedrine. The speed lab drug of choice is however Sudafed which is behind the counter and they now ask you for ID when you buy. You can still buy it though.

One of my favourite combinations is ibuprofen and codeine in Nurofen Plus.

But the god of OTC pain relief is Mercyndol. A big wack of codeine, paracetamol equal to two panadols, plus doxylamine succinate which puts you to sleep. Always ask for the drowsy one. This is just the thing for migraines.

My doctor will write me a script for mega codeine as I have long history of migraine and it works for me. I tend to horde them and ration them out slowly and carefully to make them last. Besides, you need to keep at least one aside in case you have an actual migraine.
May. 7th, 2008 07:23 am (UTC)
Aww, no fun. Get well soon, Franklin.
May. 8th, 2008 05:52 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty sure I have the same cold, my nose is doing its best impersonation of a faucet right now. I managed to pick it up from one of my boyfriends who was supposed to be over it already. I swear being poly is almost as bad as having a kid in day care. :P
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )