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So there's a pick-your-fetish meme floating around; I got it via timestheyare. Cut for bigness. Strangely, the list omits many things it shouldn't, so I've taken the liberty of adding a whole bunch of stuff on the end.

24/7 (Total Power Exchange)?
I used to think this was totally not my schtick. That was before I met dayo. The dynamic of our relationship seems to work that way, though. Who knew?

Abasiophilia (Casts, Braces, Wheelchairs)?
Not my thing.

Age Play?
Also not my thing.

Adult Baby/AB Parent?
So not my thing that it and my thing are not even in the same zip code.

Algolagnia (Pleasure derived from physical pain)?
Pain is all about context. In the right context, oh, yes. I like receiving it, and I really get off on giving it.

Amputee Fetishism (Amputation/Deformity)?
Doesn't do it for me. I once had someone offer me $40,000 if I'd let him cut off one of my fingers. I said no.

Anal Sex?
Giving: It's someting I'll do if my partner is really into it, but it's not something I seek out.
Receiving: Oh, yes, please. I'm a total anal slut. Strap-on ahoy!

Arse (Ass Play, Worship)?

Asphyxiaphilia (Breath Play, Choking)?
Damn dangerous this is. As much as I like sex--and believe me, I like sex more than the average Joe--I like living more.
Seriously. I like living a lot. more. If someone walked up to me and said "You have a choice: live for 200 years as a sexless eunuch, or I'll splatter your brains all over the sidewalk," I'd take the sexless eunuch in a heartbeat. Sex that might get me off and might also kill me? I'll pass.

I don't even find them interesting in a non-erotic context. (Those balloon animals they make at kids' birthday parties? Lame.)

Again, one of those things that's totally not my speed.

Beating (Flogs, Whips, Canes, etc.)?
Oh, dear God, yes.

Yes, please.

Blood (Drawing Blood, Cutting, etc.)?
Another one of those things I didn't think would be interesting until I met the right partner. Now? Knife play is fun.

Body Hair?
I don't care one way or the other. When I'm in bed with someone, it ain't her hair follicles, on her head or anywhere else, I'm payin' attention to, if you get my drift.

Body Modification (Tattoos, Branding, Piercings, etc.)?
I've seen some that are really sexy, and some that are not terribly interesting at all.

Bondage (Blind folds, Gags, Restraints)?
Oh, yes. I mean, really, do you have to ask?

Breast/Nipple Torture, Clamps, etc.
Giving: Oh, yes. Oh, yes, indeed. This REALLY gets me hot.
Receiving: Usually one of the fastest ways to arouse me.

Candle Wax?
I've had partners who are really into it. Not really my thing; I'm way too sensitive to heat (receiving is painful in a not-fun kind of way), and I don't get anything out of doing it to someone else.

They are PRETTY! And they are STRONG! And they MAKE NOISE when she STRUGGLES! What's not to love? :)

Chastity Devices?
Chastity play sounds like it could be hella fun, though the gear is usually quite expensive and it's one of those things that's more easily done when you live with a partner.

Chinese Balls/Ben Wa Balls/Anal Beads?
Yes, yes, and yes, in that order.

Cling Film/Plastic Wrap?
Mmm-hmm. I have some very fond memories of Shelly and a roll of brightly colored palette wrap. Got pictures, too, now that I think of it.
Got pictures of most of the things on this list, now that I think of it more.

Cock and Ball Torture, Clamps, etc.?
Haven't experimented with it. I would be open to it with a partner who was into it.

Collar and Lead/Leash?
Dear God yes.

Something I haven't experimented with but I am really interested in trying. Perhas next time I'm in Chicago, in fact.

Coprophilia (Shit Play/Scat)?
No. Non-negotiable.

Costumes (Period, Fetish, etc.)?
Depends. It's not the costumes themselves that do it for me, but in the context of the right role-play scenario, oh yes. Come here, little schoolgirl. Come over here!

Cross Dressing?
Meh. Never been interested in it.

Cupping (Suction of the Skin)?
This is fun in the right situation, but not really fun on its own.

Dacryphilia (Arousal from Tears)?
Also contextual. With the right partner, in the right psychological environment, when I know she's getting something out of it, yes. It's one of those things where if it doesn't work for her, it doesn't work for me.

Defilement (Seeing a partner dirty or wet)?
Mmm, if I could express in words how hot this gets me, your monitor would catch fire.



Diapers/Diaper Lover?

Dildos (Hand-held & Strap-ons)?
Oh, yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

Doctor/Nurse Fetish?
Medical role-play is a lot of fun, and you get to use scary-looking devices! Me <3 scary-looking devices. Though Mad Scientist and Innocent Victim (or perhaps Mad Scientist, Innocent Victim, and Submissive Lab Assistant) does it for me better than doctor and nurse.

Yes. Oh, yes.

As a fetishistic body part? No.
Fun to bite? Yes.

Electrotorture (EMS TENS units)?
Lots of fun, and also, scary-looking devices!

Emetophilia (Vomit, Regurgitation)?
No. Also non-negotiable.

Erotic Photography?
Have you seen my Web sites? Any of them?

Exhibitionism/Sex In Public?
I really, really, really dig this. As in, a lot. Preferably at play parties or sex clubs; I'm not into having an audience that doesn't want to watch.

Meh. Fun as part of sensation play, but more of an appetizer than the main course, y'know?

Pyrophilia (Fire Play)?
Yes. I like it a lot, though I don't know enough about it to do it unsupervised. And who would be foolish enough to give me matches, anyway?

Quite possibly one of the most fun things to do on a Friday night yet invented by man.

Food Play?
Remember the "defilement" part up there? You're talking to a man who once modified a silicone dildo so as to make it squirt whipped cream at high pressure.

Fuck Machines/Robots?
Very spendy, but hella cool. Oh, the things the Mad Scientist could do with a fucking machine...

Furry/Fur Fetishism?
Had a college roommate who was a furry. Not my cuppa.

In the right context, with the right people...oh, my, yes.

Genital Worship?
Meh. We have enough of that going on in the Federal government as it is.

Guns (Gun Play, Worship)?
I dig guns. Just not for sex.

Hair Pulling?
Yes! You mean there's someone who would answer "no" to this??!

Oh, yes. And again with the MAKES NOISES when she STRUGGLES.

Love the look. Hate the price.

High Heels/Stilettos?
Meh. A woman in high heels always looks slightly awkward and off-balance to me. What's the point?

Oh, yes. I have a big-time humiliation fetish, yes I do.

Infantilism (Pacifiers/Bottles, etc.)?

Kidnapping Play?
Oooh. Combine this with Mad Scientist and fisting and you've got the makings of a weekend that cannot be beat.

Klismaphilia (Douching/Enema)?
For psychological value, or as part of humiliation play, yes. On its own, meh.

Knives (Razors, Swords, other blades)?
Dear God yes. The Mad Scientist needs to cut off the Innocent Victim's clothing somehow, right? Plus, OMG sensation!


I really like the look of leather.

Making Home "Movies"?
And still pictures, and putting them on the Intarwebs...

Masks (Erotic/Gas Masks, etc.)?
I like the look, and in the right context it looks like fun, but I don't eroticize the masks themselves.

Yep. I'm a sexual sadist and a sexual masochist.

Didn't we cover that in the "24/7" part?

Masturbation (Mutual or Forced)?
Yep! What's with the "or"? Embrace the power of "and"!

Medical Scenes/Equipment?
Scarier looking, the better. The Mad Scientist wouldn't really be a Mad Scientist without his Well-Equipped Secret Laboratory!

Menstruation (Sex During, Eating, etc.)?
Meh. Had a partner whose cramps were usually helped by a strong orgasm or two.

Murder fetishism.

Military Fetish/Uniforms?
Contextual. Secret Police Interrogator and Captive Member of the Resistance is a fun game to play, but it's the role-play scenario not the uniforms, that do it for me.

Milk Fetishism/Lactation?
Not my speed.

Necrophilia (Death, Corpses)?

So many things you can do to them, oh yessss, my precioussss, so many things.

Oral Sex?
Oh, yes. In so many different contexts.

Pain (Giving/Receiving)?
Hasn't this one been covered as well?

This list is repetitious.


Play Piercing/Needle Play?
Yes. There are some really intense things you can do with this. Acupuncture needles are a lot of fun.

Plushophilia (Stuffed animals, Plushies)?
On its own? No. As a form of humiliation play? You bet.

Podophilia (Foot Fetish)?
Of all the various fetishes and kinks out there, this is one I just don't get. What's the deal with feet? I mean, they're nice and all, and a foot massage is one of life's little joys, but fetishizing feet? Color me baffled.

Power Exchange?
Covered this one already, too. You bet! D/s is such fun.

Pregnancy Fetishism?
I don't want kids. I have never wanted kids. When i was growing up, my parents kept telling me nonsense like "Some day you'll want kids of your own." Nope, nope, nope.
Don't want kids, don't want a partner who's pregnant.

Bad girl! Go to my room!

The Rack/Medieval Devices?
Oh, yes.

Religious (Nunplay, Priestplay)?

Retifism (Shoes or Boots)?


Role Playing?
Um...if this question hasn't been answered already, time to hang it up.

I like the aesthetic.

Come here! I am going to HURT YOU, and it will GET ME OFF, oh yes it will. Now, you can scream if you want to...


Sensory Deprivation?
Something I've thought about but never explored.

Smoking Fetishism?

Oh, yes.

Statuephilia (Mannequins, Dolls, etc.)?


Talking Dirty/Verbal Humiliation/Abuse?
You are a very, very dirty slut, and now I'm going to treat you like one. But first, I want to hear you say it!

Meh. I've actually been tickled to orgasm, but it's not something I especially care one way or the other about.

Tongue Fetish?
As a fetish? No.

Toys (Buttplugs, Vibrators, etc.)?
Let me show you my collection!

Covered this one already.

Urolagnia (Water Sports/Urine)?
Not my thing.

Violence/Physical Injury?
Depends on the definition of "violence" and "injury," I suppose. Are bruises and welts "injuries"?

If the people are into it, sure.

Oh, yes. Winner get ownership of the loser's body. And just for the record, I used to wrestle competitively, and I always play to win.

There are two classes of things in the world: "things that are sexy" and "things that are not sexy." Zombies occupy an entire range within the set of things which are not sexy. In fact, short of George W. Bush in a pink tutu, it's hard to imagine anyting that is less sexy (or more unsexy) than a zombie.

And now for things that should have been on the list but aren't:

Group sex? (In contexts other than gang bangs)
Yes, please!

Animalism (puppy play, pony play)?
Meh. Perhaps in the right context with the right partner I could make it work for me.

Oh, yes. Great fun.

Orientation play?
For me: Definitely not. This is a non-negotiable hard limit.
For a partner: Possibly. In the right context, with the right person, i can see this being hella hot.

Yes. Definitely yes. I need to learn more about doing it. I actually have a place in the new apartment where I can do it, in fact.

Meh. Not my thing.

Catheter play?
Meh. I suppose it might work for me, if my partner was really, really into it, maybe.


This is a lot of fun. I like the way my partners look in a corset, and it can be a nice, subtle form of control in public.

Not my thing.

Gorean D/s?
I have met very few men into this who aren't total dicks. It has poisoned my perception of the entire genre of D/s, I'm afraid.

Forced orgasms?
Oh, my God, yes. Giving or receiving. Yes, yes, yes. Such fun should not be had by mere mortals.

Cunt torture?
Surprising they list cock and ball torture but not cunt torture. Yes.

Grope boxes?
Looks like fun. I've never experimented with it, but I think it'd be fun to try.

If I had the setup to do it safely, and had a partner who was into it, I think it could be fun.

Hair bondage?
Oh, yes. Something else I may explore next time I'm in Chicago.

Utility D/s?
I think that it might be interesting with a partner who really got off from it, but it's not something that I've ever sought out.


Predicament bondage?
Yes! Endless fun. Fun of the sort that is probably illegal in fifteen states.

Ow. Dear God. I think I'll pass.

Face slapping?
In the right context, with a partner who's really into it, this is just absolutely amazingly hot.

Hell yes. Yes, yes, yes. I've written tutorials on the subject!

Rape fantasy?
Again, hell yes. This really gets my motor going, and gets some of my partners' motors going, too.


I'm sure there's still more that I've left out. The human sexual experience is vast.



( 58 comments — Leave a comment )
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May. 31st, 2008 12:16 am (UTC)
I'm really curious: What's "Orientation Play"?

May. 31st, 2008 05:49 pm (UTC)
Orientation play is 'forcing' a partner to hve sex with, or have sexual contact with, a person of the 'wrong' sex for that person's orientation--like, for example, ordering a woman who identifies as straight to have sex with another woman.

There's a fairly narrow range of people for whom it works. The person needs to be flexible enough in sexual identity that it's possible, but not identify so easily as bisexual that it's trivial.
(no subject) - chipuni - May. 31st, 2008 06:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 31st, 2008 12:22 am (UTC)
OK DArlin. . .and exactly *what* are you doing for the rest of your life?


Jun. 9th, 2008 05:31 am (UTC)
Hee! See, that makes it sound like I have a plan or something. I still don't even know what I want to be when I grow up!
(no subject) - kindredsgirl - Jun. 9th, 2008 05:51 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
May. 31st, 2008 02:52 am (UTC)
May. 31st, 2008 12:48 am (UTC)

And, I never understood balloons until I had a sexual response from them. Stranger things have happened :-)
May. 31st, 2008 05:50 pm (UTC)
Impalement is using a dildo attached to a fixed upright rod such that a woman (or man) who stands over it and is penetrated by it can not lift herself or himself off of it. It requires making sure that the person can't fall; there are actually rigs for doing this.
May. 31st, 2008 12:53 am (UTC)
Figging? Bastinado?
May. 31st, 2008 01:00 am (UTC)
(no subject) - skitten - May. 31st, 2008 03:49 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - icedrake - May. 31st, 2008 04:00 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - dayo - May. 31st, 2008 07:53 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - May. 31st, 2008 05:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kindredsgirl - Jun. 9th, 2008 05:57 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - Jun. 9th, 2008 04:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - icedrake - May. 31st, 2008 01:00 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 31st, 2008 12:59 am (UTC)
In the first author's defense, I'm pretty sure that transvestism fetish implies not *being* a transvestite but having sex with one. I presume you were alluding to the crossdressing entry when you said it was already covered.
May. 31st, 2008 05:52 pm (UTC)
Ah, that might make sense...

joreth cross-dresses if she wears a dress. :) Usually it's a halter top, BDUs, and combat boots. But I'm not sure most people would really consider that transvestism...
(no subject) - joreth - Aug. 27th, 2008 05:51 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 31st, 2008 01:05 am (UTC)
whee! I'm so going to post this in my skittenwench journal :)
not sure what is bastinado is....
May. 31st, 2008 02:53 am (UTC)
Feet go "ow" - see linky above for more.
(no subject) - skitten - May. 31st, 2008 03:46 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mlordslittleone - May. 31st, 2008 03:52 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 31st, 2008 01:24 am (UTC)
Hm. Everything you said "no" to I would either be on the "Red! Ew!" or the "Red! *emergency flares going off* - break out the biohazard OMG!"

I think there's one exception, though, but with the wording given, it's weird. The breath play/choking thing - that's the "Red!" screaming hell fuckin' no for the same reasons you listed - but I notice there's no *non-choking* throat grabbing/gripping/holding type thing.

Although holy crap do you have to be OMG careful and be sure you have the right hand placement rehearsed well to do that without risk. Can't put ANY pressure on the carotids, jugulars, or trachea at all, and that's... not intuitive. Rehearsal, before play begins, to measure handspan across holding the jaw (preferred) or the tendons on the neck in a firm grip is critically essential - and from the sub perspective, struggling is limited for obvious safety reasons. Don't want that hand to slip. And if the hand size doesn't fit that particular neck, there's not enough rehearsing in the world.

I also find that most of this list (or the desire to answer it honestly, even in a locked post) comes down to "trust issues" for me - which leads me back to a post of yours I meant to respond to months ago and got sidetracked -

OOH! SHINY! ... oh, damn. forgot to eat again today... (I hate my brain sometimes *sob* welcome to my personal Hell) -

You had mentioned about (forgive the abysmal grammar, please, I promise I am literate in my native tongue, just at the moment there's a lot of 404's getting thrown up, I guess) the difference between a scene that is emotionally involved & open vs. what I'm perceiving as a physically involved but emotionally detached sex play interaction.

OMG so many, many kinds of trust issues.

For me to get that emotionally involved/immersed is to open up parts of my soul for display that I find painful to admit to, let alone show the people whose opinion matters most.

So. Many. Kinds. Of. Not. Happening. Not at a place where I and/or my Dom don't have complete and total control of who's present. Just one person that I feel unsafe trusting with the most fragile part of my psyche being present and forget it. Even any physical response I might have enjoyed just vanishes, assuming I even got close to agreeing to participate in much of anything.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm that insecure, that paranoid, my standards are too high, or I'm overly indoctrinated or inhibited, or what? Or maybe I'm just too old to start now... but I hope that's not it!

I am absolutely certain I'm not the only person with this issue, so...

What's your take/speculation/opinion on that? I could benefit from a point of view that is not being filtered by my own insecurities screaming in my ear.
Jun. 9th, 2008 05:39 am (UTC)
The fact hat emotionally intimate play is so soul-baring is precisely the appeal of it, for me. I tend to see sex, and BDSM, as something that isn't really about sensation so much as about breaking down barriers and becoming intimate with my partner. It's pretty scary stuff, no doubt about it, but that's exactly the appeal.

I'm actually trying something of an experiment in a couple of weeks. I have a potential play date with a partner who isn't a lover and isn't someone I'm involved romantically with; it'll be my first experience in intentionally doing BDSM play as a physical exercise, without that element of emotional vulnerability. Be interesting to see how it goes. :)

I haven't had the personal experience of having aspects of my desires that I feel that delicate. Even the unconventional parts of me aren't painful to admit, though I've been excused by rain_herself of being a space alien...

It's definitely not just you, though.
(Deleted comment)
May. 31st, 2008 05:54 pm (UTC)
It's still not exhaustive, either, Thought of a bunch more things that ought to be on it after I posted last night.
(no subject) - skitten - May. 31st, 2008 06:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 31st, 2008 03:55 am (UTC)
oh my- just did it in my skittenwench journal *lol*- Half of them I've never heard of & the other half is things I've no interest in.... very interesting reading- thanks :)
May. 31st, 2008 05:55 pm (UTC)
And I can't see it... *sad*
(no subject) - skitten - May. 31st, 2008 05:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 31st, 2008 04:32 am (UTC)
>>>Oooh. Combine this with Mad Scientist and fisting and you've got the makings of a weekend that cannot be beat.


This was truly delightful to read ^_^

I keep INTENDING to do this quiz every time it rolls around (with similar smart-ass yet accurate responses), but I keep getting distracted about halfway through.

-- A <3
Jun. 9th, 2008 05:40 am (UTC)
That's odd, most people hear "mad scientist" and "fisting" and run screaming for the door!
(no subject) - dayo - Jun. 11th, 2008 03:58 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - Jun. 11th, 2008 04:39 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 31st, 2008 06:12 am (UTC)
That was fun to read. Especially as I've been spending lots of time helping you move all your crap into the new apartment.
The more I get to know you, the more and more I like you.
Jun. 9th, 2008 05:41 am (UTC)

And I really, really appreciate the help!
May. 31st, 2008 02:09 pm (UTC)
I keep going back and forth on whether or not I'll add this to my journal. I don't f'lock my journal because I don't really see the point. If it's in print and "publicly" available, there's little to stop it from getting out there (but that's another rant).

But the answers to several of these are so deeply hidden that I think even you are not aware of them. I haven't uttered them to anyone, ever, and I can barely admit them to myself, so the last thing I want to do is make it public knowledge.

But the idea of voluntarily lying about something, even as trivial as an internet meme, really rubs me the wrong way. Better to avoid answering entirely than lie.

I may possibly just send it to you in email, we'll see.
May. 31st, 2008 05:56 pm (UTC)
You definitely should. I'm really *really* curious.
(no subject) - tikvah - May. 31st, 2008 06:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 31st, 2008 03:01 pm (UTC)
Gracious... clearly, once I've moved stateside again, I need to put myself on your radar... we have some very broad crossover areas.
Jun. 9th, 2008 05:41 am (UTC)
Now I'm curious! And where stateside?
(no subject) - quaryn_dk - Jun. 9th, 2008 08:17 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - Jun. 9th, 2008 04:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - quaryn_dk - Jun. 9th, 2008 05:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
May. 31st, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC)
Yep. In the US, consent is not an affirmative defense against a charge of assult or battery.
(no subject) - pstscrpt - May. 31st, 2008 06:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
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( 58 comments — Leave a comment )