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Ph34r me!

While i rarely remember my dreams, every now and then I have one that's a doozy. A few nights back, I had a dream that I took over the world.

Not in a military sense, though, and not in a James Bond "siezing control of all the natural resources" or "building a flying orbital fortress sense." It was a lot more...transhumanist than that.

It started out with me on a group of islands somewhere in the middle of nowhere. I had developed gap generators--anyone who plays the game Command & Conquer Red Alert will know what I mean. Towers that blank out the area around my island to air and satellite photography.

I also had a lock on tech that is to current high tech what an M-16 is to a flint knife. We're talking general nanoscale assemblers, instantaneous global real-time intelligence, near-instant suborbital travel to any point on the globe, force fields, force manipulators, the works.

So I did what anyone would do in that position, if they were me: started issuing edicts. I developed a very simple system for it, in fact. I'd send out a mass-media, all-channels broadcast to some place, telling their government what to do. If they failed to comply, then the folks responsible for the failure would get zapped by lightning, or find their homes and offices crumbling to dust under a flying swarm of microscopic robots, or stuff like that, and then I'd repeat the broadcast. Rinse and repeat until compliance.

A lot of governments took strong objection to this, and tried all sorts of things to get me to stop. They'd send navies after me, which would find themselves blocked by invisible walls hundreds of miles out. They'd launch missiles at me, which I would snatch out of the air and add to my collection. In one particularly vivid and detailed part of the dream, the American government sent a nuclear attack sub after me, reasoning that I wouldn't see it coming; I snatched it out of the water, and sent the crew back to Washington on a suborbital ballistic transport with a note reading "Here's your guys back, thanks for the sub!"

I don't remember all the edicts that I issued, but I do remember that some of them included:

- An immediate end to laws mandating sexual segregation and sexual oppression in the Middle East;
- An immediate laying down of weapons by all armed, militant religious and paramilitary groups, with a 24-hour deadline (after which armed militants found themselves being taken apart, along with their weapons, by swarms of nanobots);
- Immediate closing of prison camps all over the world, including the prison at Guantanamo;
- Patent reform in the UK and the US;
- Immediate, unconditional, and unrestricted civil rights for gays and lesbians everywhere in the world;

and so on.

You know, looking back, I think I'd probably make a pretty good dictator of the world.

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Comments

( 31 comments — Leave a comment )
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(Deleted comment)
tacit
Dec. 14th, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
Re: OMG NOSTALGIA!!!
That rocks! I want to work in an Allied tech center!
anansi133
Dec. 11th, 2008 08:42 pm (UTC)
Wow. usually I find dream logic to be kind of annoying once I've woken up. But there's a case where dream logic makes something like that enjoyable instead of a nightmare.

(Imagine weilding the One Ring to Rule Them All only to find yourself enslaved like a ringwraith, by a heirarchy you hadn't suspected...)

But the Lex Luthor dream of weapons that outclass the current version, that seems pretty plausible. Just because *I* don't have a jetpack or a hover-car, doesn't mean there's not those who do. And they would be reluctant to show off these toys to anyone likely to survive the encounter.
punzel
Dec. 11th, 2008 08:59 pm (UTC)
What makes for a good dictator?
datan0de
Dec. 13th, 2008 05:44 am (UTC)
A short lifespan.
(no subject) - punzel - Dec. 13th, 2008 05:55 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - Dec. 14th, 2008 05:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
kindredsgirl
Dec. 11th, 2008 09:25 pm (UTC)
How did you get the nanobots to follow your will, after they'd disassembled folks. . .

tacit
Dec. 14th, 2008 05:44 pm (UTC)
My dream was pretty thin on technical details, which is the only reason Im not currently dictator of the world.

And besides, trade secret!
edwardmartiniii
Dec. 11th, 2008 09:28 pm (UTC)
You would be assasinated. Which would suck.
idahoev
Dec. 11th, 2008 09:50 pm (UTC)
I've never had such a nighttime dream, but I have daydreams like that on a regular basis.
tacit
Dec. 14th, 2008 05:44 pm (UTC)
Heh! That's amusing.
winterlady
Dec. 11th, 2008 09:52 pm (UTC)

LoL I'd vote for you. ^_^

Well, I like it, anyway. :D
grey_evil_twin
Dec. 11th, 2008 10:17 pm (UTC)
Gap generators. This alone gets a big thumbs up from me.
nilesta
Dec. 11th, 2008 10:45 pm (UTC)
You know what they say about absolute power.
visudo
Dec. 11th, 2008 10:57 pm (UTC)
"Power corrupts; absolute power is totally awesome"?
(no subject) - tacit - Dec. 14th, 2008 05:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
masterhyde
Dec. 11th, 2008 11:14 pm (UTC)
I don't know... evil genius blackmailing the world from his secret island sounds a lot like a James Bond movie to me. :)

OK, your demands weren't exactly evil, but you get the idea.
tacit
Dec. 14th, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC)
Good geniuses don't get the respect they're accorded, I think.
jenx
Dec. 12th, 2008 12:35 am (UTC)
I think I'd probably make a pretty good dictator of the world.

I'd vote for you. Oh, wait...
terry31415
Dec. 12th, 2008 01:44 am (UTC)
There is nothing wrong with a good tyrant. It's what to do with a bad tyrant that causes problems.
ab3nd
Dec. 12th, 2008 12:06 pm (UTC)
See, this is my argument against people who say that the singularity and transhumanism are are mostly for rich white males. If I had godlike powers, I'd use them to be a superhero. This is probably a consequence of reading a lot of comics as a child. The assumption that I wouldn't seems roughly equivalent to the assumption that I'm currently evil, and just don't have the power to express it.
datan0de
Dec. 13th, 2008 05:52 am (UTC)
The assumption that I wouldn't seems roughly equivalent to the assumption that I'm currently evil, and just don't have the power to express it.

Splendidly and succinctly put! May I steal that quote for potential future use?
(no subject) - ab3nd - Dec. 13th, 2008 04:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tacit - Dec. 14th, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Dec. 12th, 2008 06:39 pm (UTC)
Yay Franklin! You have my vote, too :-)

You'd have to have a lot of information somehow, though. How would you find those militant groups, for example?
Your dream really reminded me of "Report on the Barnhouse Effect"...

- Ola
tacit
Dec. 14th, 2008 05:46 pm (UTC)
Yep, in typical dream-logic fashion, I just knew that I'd know if anyone were violating my edicts, without exactly knowing how I'd know.

Any sufficiently advanced technology, and all that.
subonfire
Dec. 13th, 2008 02:01 am (UTC)
While I personally happen to love your edicts to pieces, the problem with any benevolent tyrant is that some people will hate it. And edicts backed by force? Not so much with that.

I'm sure that the dream was a lot of fun though, hehe.
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