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So this evening, my roommate David and I went shopping after work.

We had to make it fast, because we both had raid tonight. In fact, he talked to his raid leader on the way to the store, so that we'd have an idea of how much time we could spend shopping.

Which got us to thinking how to tell if you're completely addicted1 to World of Warcraft. The warning signs are pretty subtle, so it can sometimes be a difficult call to make. Still, there are a few little signs and signals that might tip you off. To wit:

1. Your boss asks you if you can work overtime, and you say "Sorry, no can do. We're raiding tonight. Sartharion, booyeah!"

2. Your new sweetie asks you out on a romantic date, and you say "Sorry, no can do. We're raiding tonight. Sartharion 25-man, booyeah!"

3. You're scheduling a funeral for a family member and you realize it can't be on Saturday, because you're raiding that night. Sartharion 10-man with three drakes up, booyeah!

4. Your fiancée wants to go out shopping for wedding rings, and you have a fleeting moment when you think "Shopping? We don't need to do that! I can craft a [Titanium Spellshock Ring]!

5. You have your real-life wedding in-game.

6. ...and ALL of your friends show up.

7. ...and think it's cool.

8. And your family shows up, too.

9. You install an add-on that lets you play another game inside the game while you're idle or traveling somewhere.

10. Your character's cooking skill is higher than yours.

11. You schedule vacations around the release dates for game expansions.

12. You schedule vacations around patch day.

13. Two words: Soloing Onyxia, booyeah!

14. The porn folder on your computer contains screen shots of that time you soloed a Fel Reaver at level 69.

15. ...and you weren't playing a warlock.

16. The first thing you ask that new hottie who just moved in across the street is "Horde or Alliance?"

17. And if the answer is "Alliance," you know a relationship will never work. Fuckin' pansy-ass Alliance, anyway.

18. The three things you look for in a vacation spot are power, broadband Internet access, and... Come to think of it, there's really only two things you need in a vacation spot.

19. Actually, you don't really need to go anywhere on vacation. Travel takes away time you could spend playing!

20. And so does sex, for that matter.

21. You may drive a [1977 Chevy Vega] in real life, but who cares? Your character rides a [Mechano-hog]! Booyeah, baby! Put that in your [Dark Iron Smoking Pipe] and smoke it!

22. Your [Tigule and Foror's Strawberry Ice Cream] brings all the boys to the yard.

23. Those "World of Whorecraft" porn videos bug you because they keep getting the lore wrong.

24. When you go to lunch, you tell your boss "AFK for 30".

25. "LF 1 GF. Will be checking gear."

26. You know your way around Alterac Valley better than you know your way around your own neighborhood.

27. ...and Alterac Valley is safer than your own neighborhood.

28. You see "LFM OT + DPS UBRS Rend run" in general chat and it makes you all misty-eyed with nostalgia.

29. You've watched the World of Warcraft "Switch" ad 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time you see it. "Or hell, why don't I just self-res, and bam! Cast Frost Shock!!!"

And finally:

30. If you had a dollar for every time Blizzard nerfed your class, you could...you could...play for two months for FREE!

1 Not that that's, you know, a bad thing.



( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 25th, 2009 10:18 pm (UTC)
How about if you're watching movies with your sweetie and you interrupt the movie to exclaim "Hey sweetie, we were just there! Doesn't that look like [name some WoW location here]!" ... because you recognize WoW locations better than famous Earth locations.
Feb. 25th, 2009 10:20 pm (UTC)
Which, btw, was my first clue *you* were addicted, back on one of our very first dates when you said that to Shelly while watching movies with us.
Feb. 25th, 2009 11:17 pm (UTC)
"LFM OT + DPS UBRS Rend run"

You can translate that, in your head, while reading it, and know exactly what it means. Becoming fluent in wow chat is a definite sign I play too much.
Feb. 25th, 2009 11:33 pm (UTC)
Feb. 26th, 2009 12:55 am (UTC)
Need 1 more to summon Lok! >.>
Feb. 26th, 2009 03:30 am (UTC)
I'd laugh, except sometimes it's not so funny...
Feb. 26th, 2009 04:04 am (UTC)
Number 17 is worse when your main is Alliance. My roommate gives me very weird looks for this :)

And pfah, #2 is easily solved by having a sweetie who is in to it. I don't call them dates, but WOW is one of the few things I can do together with my local sweetie and the one in Australia :)
Feb. 26th, 2009 06:33 am (UTC)
Feb. 26th, 2009 07:39 am (UTC)
And this is so why I am avoiding MMORPGs like the plague. My professional and personal life are in dire enough straits as it is.
Feb. 26th, 2009 10:47 am (UTC)
Taken from actual conversation...
Euphrates (said to older son on the phone):
"So, we were thinking about having you guys over sometime this weekend..."
Son: "Not sure, mom...Saturday is the day we play our Guild with Dad...and Friday night there's a Raid..."

Honest to gods...my ex's way to spend time with the kids? They have a guild together (The Four Hoofmen of the Apocalypse) and they play W0W all day Saturday.
Feb. 26th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)
Re: Taken from actual conversation...
Mom, the only reason WoW is how we spend time with dad is because it is so much easier and faster to set up a dungeon run in WoW than it is in D&D, GURPS or Mage. Especially when dad's memory is so poor we would always have to recount for him the entirety of our last two or three sessions to get him back on track for the current one.

Sorry about that quote, by the way. >.
Feb. 27th, 2009 01:52 am (UTC)
Re: Taken from actual conversation...
Actually, that makes it even more cute. :)

And no reason to be sorry love! We're trying Sunday, right? ;)
Feb. 26th, 2009 12:59 pm (UTC)
(here through mseuphrates)

16 and 17 rock my socks
Feb. 26th, 2009 03:39 pm (UTC)
my hit box brings all the mobs to the yard, my hit box is bigger then yours :)
Feb. 26th, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC)
31. you can use world event quest loot from four years ago to complete achievements.
32. You have 1 main, 1 alt, and 8 bankers(5 of whom carry only cloth).
33. Your children fish for you, in return for computer time.
Feb. 27th, 2009 11:19 am (UTC)
#18 and 24 I think are characteristic of most computer-addicts.

I don't understand several of these, for which I am thankful.
Feb. 27th, 2009 11:24 am (UTC)
Speaking of family members spending time together on WoW, I watched "Monster Camp," the recent LARP documentary, and there was a divorced father whose young daughter complained that he didn't pay any attention to her when she visited, he only played WoW when they had time together. His solution was to get her a WoW account so they could sit next to each other and play together. It made me really, really sad.
Feb. 27th, 2009 03:13 pm (UTC)
The family that raids together stays together.
Mar. 3rd, 2009 08:58 pm (UTC)

Domestic harmony is restored once you get his and hers WoW accounts so you don't have to take turns playing. (Which I've just done.)
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )