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Never have I ever...

The range of the human sexual condition is a whole lot wider than a lot of people realize. I've met folks who say things like 'I don't want to get too kinky too fast because I don't want to have done everything there is to do by the time I'm 30" and "I am open to anything," which I think grossly underestimate the amount of things there are to do.

Whenever someone asks on (most) public forums for wild and kinky sex ideas1, inevitably it seems like the answers that person gets fall into three broad categories: Partners, Places, and Positions. Have sex with more partners, have sex in unusual places, have sex in unusual positions.

Which is fun and all, but it still misses entire huge categories of sex.

Recently, though, someone on another journal flipped the question on its head by asking "what haven't you done." And again that's a way to show how narrow the common perception of sex is, because the majority of responses were perhaps two or three lines long--"I haven't had a threesome, I haven't had sex outdoors, I haven't had sex with the woman on top." That sort of thing.

I thought about it for a few minutes. The following list is what I came up with in ten minutes; I bet that another ten minutes would probably make it about twice as long.

I have never:


  • Wanted to have sex with an animal or a child.

  • Had sexual contact, or wanted to have sexual contact, with another man.

  • Engaged in AB (adult baby) or diaper fetish play.

  • Engaged in age play.

  • Engaged in puppy play, pony play, or other forms of animal role-play.

  • Had an orgasm at a sex club or play party (though I have had sex at play parties and sex clubs).

  • Had sex with more than three women simultaneously.

  • Had sex in an airplane.

  • Had sex on a train.

  • Been suspended (though I have had partners who have been suspended, and I have designed and built suspension frames).

  • Engaged in autoerotic asphyxia.

  • Engaged in bastinado.

  • Engaged in bootblacking.

  • Been inside a grope box.

  • Played "Spin the Bottle" (though I have played other sex games).

  • Engaged in cuckoldry.

  • Engaged in water bondage.

  • Had sex in a gas mask.

  • Used, or been whipped with, a singletail.

  • Engaged in sounding.

  • Been restrained with a straitjacket, sleepsack, vacuum bed, armbinder, branks, pillory bed, stock, fetters, or fiddle.

  • Engaged in Gorean D/s.

  • Engaged in retifism.

  • Engaged in foot fetishism.

  • Engaged in fursuiting or yiffing.

  • Engaged in race play.

  • Been to a key party (though I have been to other forms of swingers' parties).

  • Had sex with a person I met at a swingers' party.

  • Had sex with a person I met in a bar, night club, or pub.

  • Had sex on, or been confined to, an inversion table.

  • Crossdressed.

  • Worn a gimp mask or gimp suit.

  • Engaged in branding, cicatrization, or suturing.

  • Owned an odalisque.

  • Owned a steam-powered fucking machine (which has always been one of my dreams), though I do own other types of fucking machines.

  • Engaged in inflation.

  • Engaged on "looning" (balloon fetishism).

  • Been in a professionally produced or professionally distributed porn flick (though I have made private pictures and movies).

  • Had sex with a porn star (though I have met several).

  • Engaged in watersports.

  • Been fisted (though I have fisted many of my partners).

  • Engaged in forced feminization.

  • Been a dungeon monitor at a public dungeon (though I have a partner who is, and I have hosted play parties).

  • Been the subject of orientation play (though I have been the instigator).

  • Cheated, or been cheated upon.

  • Paid money for sex of any sort, including phone sex.

  • Had anonymous sex.

  • Used a glory hole.

  • Seen a pornographic movie at a porn theater.

  • Engaged in cottaging.

  • Had sex in a church.

  • Worn a chastity belt or chastity device (though I have engaged in orgasm denial and chastity play).

  • Been a collared submissive.

  • Visited a prodomme.

  • Made my own flogger (though I own several hand-made floggers).

  • Written a sex book.

  • Been on the receiving end of figging (though I have been on the administering end, and written a tutorial about it).

  • Engaged in nullification (though I once had a person offer me a lot of money for it).

  • Received money for sex.

  • Had sex or sexual contact, or wanted to have sex or sexual contact, with a partner who is transsexual.

  • Used a penis pump.

  • Used poppers or other recreational drugs for or during sex.

  • Been bound in, or bound a partner in, strappado bondage.

  • Been on the administering end of fire play (though I have been on the receiving end).

  • Used a rack or a Catherine's wheel.

  • Engaged in Nazi roleplay.

  • Engaged in religious roleplay.

  • Had sex with a virgin.

  • Forced a non-consenting partner to have nonconsensual sex, or been forced to have nonconsensual sex (though I engage in resistance play and rape play often).

  • Had sex for the purpose of, or with the intention of, procreation.

  • Had a grudge fuck.

  • Had a sympathy fuck.

  • Had sex with a subordinate at work (though I have had sex with a superior at work).

  • Been seriously injured or hospitalized because of a sex act.

  • Been arrested or detained by authorities because of a sex act.


What haven't you done?

1 Okay, yes, forums other than the ones many of the folks who read this journal are likely to be on. Hush.

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Comments

m0rgen
May. 17th, 2009 05:07 pm (UTC)
"Open to anything" is right up there with "Whatever you want". I'm careful to only say that to those who I have a pretty good idea what they want.