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Map of Non-Monogamy Re-Revisited

[Edit] There is yet another update to the map here. You can also find my book on non-monogamy here.

Because my brain is totally broken...

I woke up very, very early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep, because it suddenly occurred to me that entire classes of non-monogamy were missing from the last version I did. Plus, I thought of a lot more edge cases. And since the only way I can get this stuff out of my head is to put it on the Interwebs, here it is!

As before, click for a bigger version. A much, much bigger version, that will pulverize your bandwidth the way Chuck Norris pulverizes your pelvis. Or something. I don't know.


( 39 comments — Leave a comment )
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Sep. 14th, 2010 10:45 pm (UTC)
This is terrific!!! You should think about selling copies - framed, unframed etc.... I bet they would sell easily! Postcard size - greeting cards to adult stores like Babeland, Adam and Eve, The Adult Superstore etc.
Carlo Powers
Feb. 6th, 2011 04:02 pm (UTC)
Posted On My Home Page
Wonderful infographic guys, great work. I have a website www.anopenrelationship.com centered around non-traditional relationships and I currently have this pic used for my front page sticky article. I have linked the image here so I think we are all on the level. Let me know if there are other steps I can take to make sure you get due credit.
Feb. 14th, 2011 10:25 am (UTC)
Isn't Religious/Social Polygamy actually a subset of Polyfidelity?
Oct. 9th, 2011 02:35 pm (UTC)
How about "I'm fine with you having other partners, I just don't want to have any others myself"
My bf is a lot like this. He is my 'primary' and the relationship seems to meet his needs as a mono. He is even comfortable with the fact that while I will of course consider his feelings and talk with him before taking on a new partner, I will not abandon any of my partners just because another one asked me to. He understands that my other relationship/s do not threaten him. Like all couples, we have insecurities, but we talk about them and get to the root cause, rather than being possessive or passive aggressive. Of course there are no double standards, he is welcome to date someone else if he wishes. The same rules that apply to me apply to him, but as of yet, he has shown little interest in pursuing these options. It seems to work quite well and I am very glad for this relationship that we have built.
Oct. 9th, 2011 05:01 pm (UTC)
Re: How about "I'm fine with you having other partners, I just don't want to have any others myself"
That's actually been added to the most recent version of the map. :)
Apr. 30th, 2015 03:26 pm (UTC)
This hits the nail on the head
My wife and I got married in the early 70's. Still married for almost 45 years while our vanilla friends and family are all on their second or third marriages. My wife does not even like to talk about sex and was raised in a strict Catholic family where the man is king of the castle.

Despite this we have engaged in wife swapping, soft swinging and formed a polyfidelitous relationship with my wife's best girlfriend who we both loved. My wife is not bisexual but had routine sex with her girlfriend but only as part of our FFM threesome. They never had sex together without me. My wife does not know what her sexual orientation is since she was deeply in love with just her girlfriend and no other women. She also could only be sexual in the context of sex with a man, me. I would call her heteroflexible.

We remained in our poly triad for 38 years and would still be in it had not fate intervened. It survived the marriage of our girlfriend 30 years ago, to a man who was OK with his wife keeping her relationship with us but not taking part of it. Apparently he had his own thing going on with a boyfriend.

I was out of the country for almost half of every year on business so we had a don't ask, don't tell policy. Only once did I fall in love with another women and that ended up in a brief separation which ended after a few months.

Over time we just all settled in with those we loved and shut out all outsiders. At that point life was great and no further problems. We are now a couple again and wish we can find another woman to share our life. However, we did not realize how blessed we were to find a woman that loved us both and who we both loved in turn. A woman who provided my wife and I with those things we could not provide to each other. She was into my kinks while my wife was not and provided my wife with the kind of soft, gently non penetrive sex that she enjoyed. She was my intellectual equal while a great companion for my wife who tends to talk about TV and movie stars and the more sensational type of news.

I do not believe that we still would be married and in love this long had we gone the traditional monogamy type marriage. We seem to be rare among our friends since they are all divorced and we are not. We still enjoy regular sex into our senior years, while they do not. Our lifestyle choices were a constant source of fun, joy. fuflfillment and sensual pleasure. Would not change a thing if we had to do it over again.
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