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terryo
Dec. 29th, 2010 02:43 am (UTC)
There should be a Female bubble also! be fair!
joreth
Dec. 29th, 2010 02:46 am (UTC)
Other than the "couple privilege", what would the female bubble look like? I ask because I don't think I've ever seen purely female privilege in the poly context, only couple privilege, not because I don't think it exists.
terryo
Dec. 29th, 2010 02:54 am (UTC)
It would be totally symmetric around the couple bubble; mirror through the Couple-Entitlement' centerlines and label it Female Privilege; I have heard of some folks having a 'one vagina' policy, I believe...
tacit
Dec. 29th, 2010 03:16 am (UTC)
I haven't personally encountered a lot of female privilege (well, outside of female supremacy BDSM groups, anyway). Culturally, most societies are male privileged, and I think it's a lot easier to grow up stepped in invisible, unconscious privilege as a man--privilege which I suspect many men aren't even aware they have.

I've never personally encountered a "one vagina policy," though I'd be interested to see how many relationship structures are built that way.

There's definitely another form of privilege in the mix which isn't on this chart, and which may be added if I do an update, and that's heterosexual privilege. We definitely live in a society that privileges male heterosexuals and female bisexuals, strongly at the expense of gay and bisexual men and TG/TS people.
kill_inhibition
Dec. 29th, 2010 04:49 am (UTC)
My previous relationship was a "one vagina policy". I was dating two men seriously and saw other people casually on the side (very rarely). The two men who were seriously dating me weren't "allowed" to be with other people. It worked like this for over 2 years.
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blaisepascal
Dec. 29th, 2010 04:17 pm (UTC)
I do not believe that "one vagina policy" is common, but I have personal knowledge of a relationship which worked like that. It was a complete reversal of the traditional she's-bi-and-he's-threatened-by-the-idea-of-another-man one-penis-policy bit. In this case, HE was bi and SHE was threatened by the idea of another woman. I don't know how often the other-penis option was exercised, but I know that both did have sex with other men occasionally.

(Anonymous)
Jan. 30th, 2011 03:00 pm (UTC)
Had the one-vagina-policy imposed on me some time back (married male) -- but there isn't the sort of societal support for it. I've seen far more cases of apparent "only looking for a woman", as pointed out downthread -- and wonder if, perhaps, a one vagina policy is (or can be) a form of couples privilege. Perhaps when invoked by a female partner in a more primary role?
kill_inhibition
Dec. 29th, 2010 04:49 am (UTC)
Right here.
(Anonymous)
Dec. 29th, 2010 03:22 am (UTC)
female privilege?
I don't know if this is what female privilege would be, yet I have bumped into something that seems that way - a triad marriage of two men and one woman, where her views of putting marriage first seems to involve the ability to reduce or terminate relationships her husbands may develop. Not exactly veto power, yet strong desire to influence the other connections, including reducing or ending other new or established connections if she feels unsafe about them at any point.
vrimj
Dec. 29th, 2010 08:00 pm (UTC)
I think I have had it
I think woman generally have a lot of privilege in the realm of sexuality, either that or I am unusually lucky.

I am not unusually pretty or the like and I usually make passes at people by sending them an email and asking if they would like to have a sexual relationship. I have only been turned down about once. I think that would be different if I was a guy.

I have also seen woman act terribly affronted when they wanted sex from one of my male partners and he was not interested. It kind of reminds me of the lady who bakes cookies and gets mad if you don't have one.

I think it might be a more pronounced privilege in the pretty but I think that culture tends to teach the modern american woman that she is basically entitled to sex from any man she likes enough to let in to her panties. But it could be a regional or social group effect.

So in this context I would say it comes in to play with couple privilege in lists of long controlling rules and veto. I know sometimes these are men but I usually see it with women and they are often specifically enforced with being" cut off" sexually.
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vrimj
Dec. 29th, 2010 08:44 pm (UTC)
More Work Drama
They are not the same thing, but for me the experience of privilege in my life often feels like luck or sometimes even merit (which in this case I guess would be sexiness as a form of accomplishment)
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trinker
Dec. 30th, 2010 01:44 am (UTC)
Re: I think I have had it
*sigh*

There are a sizeable number of women who do *not* have the "privilege" of getting an automatic 'yes' to a proposition.
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