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trinker
Dec. 29th, 2010 06:07 pm (UTC)
Re: Privilege
Did anyone say that MFF is necessarily, always about one MF pair having power over the other F? Or that all triads are (MF)F ? Because I'm seeing a lot of people leaping to represent configurations that are not (MF)F.

I don't remember whether I came up with "roll-your-own", or picked it up somewhere. I'm glad you find it nifty!
ashbet
Dec. 29th, 2010 06:39 pm (UTC)
Re: Privilege
I don't think anyone (certainly not me!) is saying that all triads are (MF)F -- I think the discussion is referencing the fact that a single woman in a triad with a married couple is going to face some disadvantages based on the fact that the marital dyad is legally and societally privileged.

There are certainly plenty of triads who are FFF or MMM or MFM or any combination, including transmen and transwomen and nongendered people who may or may not define themselves as "M" or "F". And there can be any combination of sexual orientations within the triads (one bi man with two gay men, for example.)

I think the discussion has focused on couple-with-third configurations because that's what Franklin was referencing in his diagram.

(Please correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what I'm seeing.)

-- A <3
trinker
Dec. 29th, 2010 07:08 pm (UTC)
Re: Privilege
I'm seeing a lot of "but my FMF triad..." stuff, which is *not* in the (MF)F configuration that's so problematic in terms of privilege imbalance...I wouldn't say it's derailing, because the topic wasn't defined as (MF)F, but when we're discussing privilege...it seems like it's swamping the central case with unusual configurations that pretty much bear out just how problematic (MF)F is.
ashbet
Dec. 29th, 2010 07:27 pm (UTC)
Re: Privilege
Since the topic wasn't narrowly defined, I think people are discussing the relationships they're familiar with -- their own and those of their friends. I don't think non-(MF)F triads are necessarily all that uncommon -- but, then again, we're a self-selecting sample -- I'd lay bets that the majority of people who read this journal tend towards more egalitarian relationships than the world at large.

If the topic shifts to (MF)F exclusively, then discussing other relationships is derailing & off-topic. I'm not sure we're there at the moment.

To me, discussion of other relationships is on-topic in terms of finding ways to *avoid* the inherent inequalities in a married-couple/HBB situation :)

-- A <3
trinker
Dec. 29th, 2010 07:42 pm (UTC)
Re: Privilege
Ah. Thank you. That refocuses the discussion for me.