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vrimj
Dec. 29th, 2010 08:00 pm (UTC)
I think I have had it
I think woman generally have a lot of privilege in the realm of sexuality, either that or I am unusually lucky.

I am not unusually pretty or the like and I usually make passes at people by sending them an email and asking if they would like to have a sexual relationship. I have only been turned down about once. I think that would be different if I was a guy.

I have also seen woman act terribly affronted when they wanted sex from one of my male partners and he was not interested. It kind of reminds me of the lady who bakes cookies and gets mad if you don't have one.

I think it might be a more pronounced privilege in the pretty but I think that culture tends to teach the modern american woman that she is basically entitled to sex from any man she likes enough to let in to her panties. But it could be a regional or social group effect.

So in this context I would say it comes in to play with couple privilege in lists of long controlling rules and veto. I know sometimes these are men but I usually see it with women and they are often specifically enforced with being" cut off" sexually.
(Deleted comment)
vrimj
Dec. 29th, 2010 08:44 pm (UTC)
More Work Drama
They are not the same thing, but for me the experience of privilege in my life often feels like luck or sometimes even merit (which in this case I guess would be sexiness as a form of accomplishment)
(Deleted comment)
vrimj
Dec. 29th, 2010 09:11 pm (UTC)
I don’t disagree, but I personally do not feel the exercise of my privilege or the action of my privilege in my world as a "feeling or privilege" instead my subjective experience feels more like luck, thus things that are very lucky are places I look for privilege.

I could just be lucky in lust, but it seems more likely that our current culture gives women a certain power as sexual gatekeepers that has made such things easy and made women and men both feel that it is the woman's role to say yes and the man should desire sex and not even consider not playing along.
trinker
Dec. 30th, 2010 01:44 am (UTC)
Re: I think I have had it
*sigh*

There are a sizeable number of women who do *not* have the "privilege" of getting an automatic 'yes' to a proposition.
vrimj
Dec. 30th, 2010 02:18 am (UTC)
Re: I think I have had it
True, but I suspect the number is much higher for women then for men.
trinker
Dec. 30th, 2010 02:24 am (UTC)
Re: I think I have had it
Number of which? Considered acceptable, or unacceptable?
vrimj
Dec. 30th, 2010 02:42 pm (UTC)
More Work Drama
Sorry, that did not make a lot of sense

I think that, overall, women can be more successful in heterosexual interactions with direct and minimal approaches then men of equlivalant attractiveness (whatever that means) and that sort of disparity, where average results change with group identification of the asker are the tkind of things that seem to be expressing cultural bias and expectations