Err, actually the second most miserable, but only by a nose.
Some time ago, i got contacted by producers from the Oprah Winfrey network. They were shooting a segment of "Our America" about polyamory. I pointed them to some friends of mine, who they liked so much they set up a camera crew in their house for weeks. They also filmed a smigeon of
The show was set to air today, something I didn't realize 'til this afternoon. So
Which is a little weird; in 45 minutes, Russian organized crime can infect 250,000 American PCs with malware, so taking 45 minutes to program a cable box seems inefficient. But whatever.
Then the Web site said "Success! Your cable box has been activated."
It lied.
Connect the box to the TV, nothing. Okay, bad cable maybe? Go outside the house, in the rain, diddle with the cable connection. Nothing. Replace the cable. Nothing. Run a known-good cable through the window into the house. Still nada.
Take the cable connector out of the wall. Looks good. Replace the cable that came with the cable box, the one that goes from the wall to the box. Still nada.
Call tech support. "No problem, we'll reset your cable box. Should take ten minutes."
10 minutes later, I'm 10 minutes older but no closer to working cable.
Move the cable box around the house in a bizarre game of whack-a-cable-outlet. Nothing works anywhere. (Seriously, who uses cable any more, anyway?)
OWN is not available streaming over the Internet; presumably, Oprah, who is, like, the richest woman in he world or something, isn't getting enough fees to allow Net streaming.
Okay, back on the phone with tech support. "We can't see your cable box."
Uh...
Okay, fine. Move it to a different cable outlet. "We still can't see it. You're on a TV show, you say? About polyamory? What's that?"
The inevitable "what is polyamory?" conversation over, we start playing this whack-a-cable-outlet game again. No matter where we go, the tech says "I sill can't ping your cable box."
Go back online to Comcast's miserable activation page on Comcast's miserable Web site. "You have 1 cable device (1 not activated)."
Apparently, it will tell you "activation successful" even if the device in question is disconnected, turned off, shot repeatedly with a 12-gauge, and buried in a lead-lined box outside of Roswell, New Mexico beneath a crumpled up ball of aluminum foil and two empty cans of baked beans. When the Web site says "activation successful," that doesn't mean that the activation was successful, you see...it simply means that enough time has passed that the Comcast Central Babbage Engine should have been able to align the gears and pulleys to the right configuration to activate the box.
Finally, I yank the cable out of the cable modem, which we know works on account of I was able to communicate through the web-net on the Internet-tubes to the Babbage engine that runs Comcast's Net-site, and plug it straight into the cable box.
"Oh," chirps the tech, "your cable box is defective. Please bring it to your nearest Comcast cable Box Redemption Center and place it on the redemption line."
Which might have explained why when
So after four plus hours of work, we were unable to see the show. We had several friends over who were also on the program, because, like, who the fuck has cable nowadays anyway?
If you could even begin to feel one one-hundredth of the depth of my frustration and rage at Comcast right now, your monitor would catch fire.
- Current Mood:
enraged
Comments
I was also going to suggest that you find somebody who recorded it (and pirate from them!), but it looks like that's already been covered.
I spent a year tethering my phone after spending 4 months having no Internet (not slow internet - none) and building a faraday cage around my modem with tinfoil, only to be told by the last tech that the nearby radio tower would prevent functional service regardless. That guy ruled, but the rest of Comcast can die in a fire
and reporting Grandma...
https://www.google.com/search?q=comcast+bandwidth+cap&aq=0&oq=comcast+bandwidth+cap&aqs=chrome.0.0l4j62.4730&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
the RIAA story is old, but it stuck with me due to the many levels on which it was ridiculous: http://betanews.com/2005/02/04/riaa-sues-deceased-grandmother/
(as a means of comparison, our ISP speakeasy sent out an email about copyright infringement that described how it was possible that someone else could have done it and then went into great detail about proper network security and how to use https://www.torproject.org - thus earning my undying love and affection for many reasons ;)
K.
You know, speaking of Cumcast bitching, here's a thought tech geeks would understand: Are they truly a cable provider anymore? After all, a cable used to be something you could plug into a telly and get shows; the coax was stuffed full of telly signal just waiting to be received and viewed.
Now, every cable customer (except for the "Limited Basic" folks that only get something like 30 channels) must have a box. That box, as you note in the OP, is essentially a proprietary internet decoding doohickey.
Except for 30 channels of content, Cumcast is now in the proprietary internet dissemination biz . . . which may or may not be a description that matches their monopolistic mandate.
i don't know if these link helps, but i found this:
http://www.oprah.com/own-our-america-lisa-ling/Deleted-Scenes-Polyamorous-Family-Raising-11-Year-Old-Girl-Video
http://www.oprah.com/own-our-america-lisa-ling/I-Love-You-and-You-and-You-Polyamorous-Adults-Join-Discussion-Video
ohh, i think i found you! correct me if i'm wrong but is that you in 1:41? :D
i'll look and dig some more. i have the same problem. i refuse to buy cable tv because the prices are just insane. let me know if i can be more of a help!
Edited at 2013-03-07 05:04 am (UTC)
I recorded that episode, btw, with no clue that y'all were on it. Guess i'll have to watch it now.